QUALITIES OF AN EFFECTIVE LEADER
* CONFIDENCE: Confidence in yourself, confidence in others, confidence in your cause, confidence in God's assistance.
* OPTIMISM: A belief that the goal is not only good but that it will be reached.
* KNWOLEDGE: An understanding of the underlying problems, what needs to be done and how to go about getting it done.
* CONCERN FOR OTHERS: A love and care that reaches out in God's name to every human being.
* DECISIVENESS: The ability to weigh option, make decision and gain the acceptence of the group.
*OPENNESS: A respect for the openiion of all and a desire to work with people of divergent views and personalities.
* GOOD EXAMPLE: A willingness to help with even menial tasks, to be out in front, and to support the members of the group in their endeavours.
* PATIENCE: The willingness to get the ideas ripen, to plan adequately. to wait for the right time for action.
* COURAGE: The courage to withstand the critics, to sacrifice self, to resist pressure and to continue in the face of the adversity.
* COMMUNICATION: The ability to understand what others are trying to say and to convay decisionsand action plans clearly.
LEADERSHIP BEHAVIUORAL PATTERNS
L Loyal- dedication and devotion to his work.
A Appriciative- Thoughtful, geratful, and thatnkful.
D Disciplinarian - Oriented on self discipline than imposed discipline.
R Responsible- builds honesty, trust and confidence.
H Humble- faces life with truth rather than escapism.
I Ideal- Sets good example for others.
P Patient - tries to understand and to advise than to penalise.
VALUE CLARIFICATION
WHAT IT IS: By value clarification is understood a methodology or proccess by which we help person to discover through their behaviour, feelings and ideas what important choices they have made that they are continually, in fact acting in ans through lives.
WHAT IT IS NOT: Unlike other theoraetical approaches, this is not concerned about the content of people's values, but the process of valuing. Value clarification approach doesnot aim ti instill any particular set of values. Rather the gaol of this approach is to help students to utilise the seven processes of valueing in their lives.
HOW TO: @ In recent times a variety of value clarification strategies have been developed.
@ Any learning experience can be utilised
@ Incorporating values clarification into the subject matter. Any subject matter can be taught on any or on all following levells: The facts, the concepts, and the values level.
@ To tie the value clarification strategies in withthe subjectmatter and skill learning, so as to advance both the search for knowledge and search for values.
@ Emperical reaseach confirms the following::
*More self-directed
*More authentic
*Strong convictions
*More creative
*More self-reliant
*More critical of their own thinking.
* Less conforming
* less apathetic
*Less influenced by propaganda etc.
VALUE HOUSIE GAME CARD
OPENNESS
HONESTY
LOYALTY
COMPASSION
COURAGE
CREATIVITY
DEDICATION
SELF SACRIFICE
INTELLIGENCE
LOVE
DECISIVENESS
GENEROSITY
RISK TAKING
AFFIRMATIN
SOCIABILITY
PATIENCE
CLEAR GOALS
OPTIMISM
GOD FEARING
GOOD
EXAMPLE
SERVICE
SELF COFIDANCE
JUSSTICE
DYNAMISM
THE TEN VALUES I HAVE CHOSEN
VALUES
RAKNING
VALUES
RANKING
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
MY FIRST VALUE IS ................................................................................. BECAUSE
MY SECOND VALU IS.................................................................................BECAUSE
MY THIRD VALUE IS...................................................................................BECAUSe
A QUIZ ON LEADERSHIP
Indicate whether you agree (A) or disagree (D) with the following statements on 'Leadership'.
1. People are not born- leaders, they become so. ................
2. An effective leader will always make all decisions for the group by himself/ herself. ................
3.your power and influence as leader comes solely from your position as a leader. ...............
4. An effective leader will not hesitate whenit comes to making a decision. ................
5. A good leader tries his/her best to prevent conflicts but onece a conflict has arisen
he/she will face it and resolve it. ...............
6.An effective leader will himself/herself solve all the problems of the group members. ...............
7.A good leadre will never admit his/her faults and mistakes, let his/her followers my
displace him /her. ...............
8. It is not possiblew to achieve the goals of the group as well as good relationship
among the members ................
9. An effective leader has confidence in himself/herself in others and in God. ................
10. If you want to achieve goals and maintain high standards, only autocratic style
of leadership will work. ................
11. A good leader will assume total responsibility for all the decisions and activities
of the group. ............
12. An effective leader makes great effort to bring in clarity of roles and goals. ..................
13. A good leader will be quick to priase and slow to blame. ................
14. An effective leader makes great effort to bring in clarity of roles and goals. ................
15. An effective leader talks less but listens and does more. ...................
16. An effective leader is willing to take risk and initiatives and accept challenges. ..................
17. A good leader is just and impartial. ..................
18. An effective leader involves his followers in planing, decision making and
implementation of every activity ...................
19. Reporting and having recourse to higher authorities for every problem will
undermine yoour own authority. ....................
20. A good leader is the one who knows the way, shows the way and goes the
way. ................
QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP
LEADER: can be divided into two main types: The one type dominates, drives and demands; those in the other type inspire their followers to action while enriching their lives and developing their personality. we will deal only with the second type:
GET ONE THING STRAIGHT: In order to be successful you don't have to be a leader. all you hve to avoid, is being a leader. So we shall deal only briefly with those qualities of leadership which help most towards successin general.Here they are;
1. Be Enthusiastic:
Have a sense of Humour which enables you to admit your mistakes without feeling that you have lost face. 'smile and the world smiles with you; but laugh when the world laughs at you'. is good advice.
2. Be eager to learn:
If you are too old to learn, you are too old to live, and certainly too old to lead. William has said that few of us learn anything after 26. Does that bother you ? It shouldn't if you regard yourself as among the few. Besides you do not want to learn anything new now; you just want to do what you have neglected doing till you got hold of this book.
3. Share praise but shoulder blame: Be prompt to praise. Always give credit to those who have helped you in any project.It is well kinown that those persons are most successful who know how to get other people to work for them. However, when anything goes wrong accept the full responsibility. That is the privilege of a leader.
4. Enrich the lives of others: by training them to become reliable and responsible. Help them to develop their personality, by delegating important tasks to them and so help them to come into prominance. you will thus win the loyalty of your followers and attract new ones to join you. Accept their suggestions and praise them when good done; improve their mediocre suggestioins by discussion; and when forced to reject any, always explain hte reason.
5. Never ridicule, Nag or shout at anyone: Many people think they are superior when they are sarcastic or make others look foolish or redicule. They only expose their petty nature. Nagging get you nowhere. Sit down with the offending party and find out the cause for bad behaviour, low output or persistant indifference. Shouting goes well with dictators. Leaders never shout; they give ordered with firmness and decision.
6. Develop dependebility: Glen Gardiner states that the best definition of dependability is "doing more than what is ecpected, befeore it is expected" . No one values a worker who has to be reminded several times to do a thing, and then checked on to see if the work is done right and on schedule. You will never get far if you adopt the attitude, ' I'll turn out better and quicker work, only when they pay me more".
7. Don't Over-reach: Browning spoke truly when he wrote: A mans reach should exeed his grasp or what is a heaven for ? but we should apply this with care and prudence, especially in dealing with others. It is wisely said: " We judge others by their actions, and ourselves with our ideals". So many of us scold a servant or subordinate for not being able to do a job as well as we can. We fail to note that if they were that good they would not be servants or subordinates. And for yourself, before you try to over-reach, make sure to provide yourself with the neccessary prop.
8. Make few promises and keep them: People lose faith in you if you can't keep your word. So make promises sparingly, but keep them faithfully and loyally. When you are not sureof being able to do something, use non-commital phrases llike " I'll see what can be done." " that time is too short but I'll do my best". Also refrain form extracting promises from those working under you. Teach them not to make promises lightly, for a promise once given must be kept.
9. Work for the cause: why do pioneers achieve the impossible? Why do missionaries reach the unattainable? Because they work not for moneyor for people, or for rulers, but for the cause. They know that God rewards the effort not the result. Do your best and leave the rest to God.
A CHECK ON YOUR VISION OF SELF
Directions:
Each of the statements below can be rated with the words NEVER, SOMETIMES, FREQUENTLY or ALWAYS. Make your choice, and then write in the number that corresponds to the word you have chosen. When you are finished, total up your answers.
NEVER SOMETIMES FREQUENTLY ALWAYS
1 2 3 4
1. when my feelings are hurt, I express them....................
2. Others value my openions..........................
3.I feel intellectually capable..........................
4. I feel worthy of the gifts that have been offered to me..........................
5. I am satisfied with my personal development up to now...........................
6. I consider comparing myself with other people ( to see who rates higher) to be a waste of time.............
7. I enjoy meeting and talking with new people......................
8. I feel comfortable at social gatherings.............................
9. I am happy to be me and woudn't want to be anyone else...................
10. I like my present life situation................................
11. I am happy with the way I live my life......................
12. I like my present place of residence.....................
13. I enjoy my work.........................
14. People admire me.....................
15. I am considerate of others...........................
16. I enjoy getting up in the morning......................
17. I am self reliant.............................
18. I make a possitive contribution to the life of others.......................
19. I enjoy attending to my own needs: in eating, exercise and general care of myself....................
20. I try to make sure I lead a balanced life........................
21. I enjoy my time alone.............................
22. I like myself...........................
23. I respect myself..........................
24. I value myself...............................
25. I see myself as a good looking person...........................
26.I see myself as attractive to the opposit sex........................
27. I think of myself as a loving person....................................
28. I think of myself as a sharing person..........................
29. I think of myself as a confident person..........................
30. I see myself as a successful person.............................
total: ______________
Just as a flower gives out its fragrence to homsoever approaches or uses it, so love within us radiates towards everybody and manifests as spontaneous service. Swami Ramdas.
ROLE PLAY:
Five role : a) Leader: Co-ordinates, facilitates the group.
b) Clown: talks unneccesarily, out of point, dominant.
c) Critical: opposes everything.
d) yes man: accepts everything
e)The silent. Not at all involved.
Ist play: No leader, 2 clowns, five members altogether.
Iind play: All leaders
IIIrd play: A role for each of the five.
* These roles will be played by any five participants.
*They are given roles secretly. And asked to discuss on a topic for a specific period of time, with a theme for discussion eg. youth picnic.
* The group is then asked to guess who played what role after each of the three plays.
* The animator at the end brings out the significance of the success of the third role play.
BAZAR
Aim: necessity of clarity in communication. To give and experience of goal orientedness.
Rules: non participants are not allowed to prompt or help.
Participants are not allowed to cross the barriers.
not writing is allowed after the final whistle is given. Half written carries no scores.
Analysis:
importance of listening, concentration.
Examples of market: look for the item you need. Tuning the radio.
Listening to various voices when you reach the cross roads of life and are heard and ultimately what is neccessary is th4 vioce of the concience and the voice within us. It requires tuning of mind and heart.
No flowing with the current attitude in life. One acts on one's personal decision and takes responsibility for all his action.
Value Exercise.
Aim: To make the participants reflect on values:
In life one cannot eat the cake and still have it. One is called to make contineous decisions. One must have reasons for one's choices and must not function at the level of likes and dislikes.
Procedure:
the buuilding is on fir; and there are 7 people caught inside; you can save only one. What is the order in which you would like to save?
1. Block Development Officer: 40 years old, very nice man, has helped a lot of people, there are floods in the village and the people need him. However he recieves bribes.
2. Retired militery offices: 55 , has served the country faithfully, Recipient of Param veer Chakra for his acts of bravery in the war against
3.Lady lecturer: 30 married, has a 3 year old child at home and is pregnant now, However she is a boring teacher, and takes no intrest in the extra curricular activities.
4. Sicial worker: 28, very commited and works rellentlessly for the poor and the downtrodden. He has a girl-friend and will be getting married within a few weeks. But he holds Communist ideologies.
5.College student: 17 . girl, extreemly intelligent, very good looking, but very proud.
6. Priest: 70. has done lot of good in his young age, many poor people feel indebted towards him, a very holy man. But he is suffering from cancer and doctor has given the time of a few months.
7. Play back singer: 34, extreemy good singer. and a great asset of the country; many people forgotten their sorrows by listening to his songs. However he cannot sing without drinks; gets drunk often.
Longest possible line:
Aim to bring out group unity in achieving a goal.
Procedure:
The participants are asked to form a longest possible line by placing articles that belong to them or which they carry on their person. Common objects like stones, leaves etc are not allowed.
Questions: 1. what did you contribute to the line?
2. How did you feel about it ? Happy shy etc?
3. Did you give freel or forced?
4. Was it easy, did your effort fail ? if yes what did you feel about it?
Analysis:
Need to have a goal and be commited to it.
Need to sacrifice personal interest for the sake of the group. to give untill you have nothing left to give, is the greatest ideal of love and sacrifice.
Effort is more important than achievement of the goal.
Everyone has something unique to contribute for the richness of the line, which if not given others cannot give.
It matters not quantitative element ( how much) but Qualitative element of giving (How).
Story of the giving tree
Analysis:
* One has to act in such a conflict situation. Not to act is to run away from one's responsibility.
* there are many voices calling for our service. We need to decide who must receive our services. We casnnot do allthe good.
*In Indian context who should receive our love and concern?
* Between evil and good, choose good, between greater and lesser evil choose the lesser and In conflic situation choose any one but act.
Money game
Aim : to realize the unjust distribution of wealth and other resources in our society; an the far fetching consequences of such an unjust situation.
4 teams with a leader in each.
each group gets 8 sweets ( money) each. and one yellow =X and one pink = Y cards
One enveloope on which the group name number written.
Number of persons in a group is open.
XXXX = each group loses Rs. one
XXXY = X gains Rs. one and Y losses Rs 3
XXYY = y gains Rs 2 and X looses Rs.2
XYYY = X wins Rs.3 an Y loses Rs. 1
YYYY = All gain Rs. 1
after each transaction write the value on the board
1. secret transaction any of the combination could be used.
3.After the fourth round Bonus for the total amount 3x2=6 and add the existing gained value 6+3=9
4. After te 8the round Value of the 3rd combination is changed : make the opposite
5. After 7the round bonus is raise to 5 times.
6. after 9the round the group which has the maximum points will decide the value of the combinations and the bonus on the total amount.
7. game will not exceed 12 rounds.
Questions:
1. Why did one group secured least amount?
2. Why did one group secured highest amount?
3. Why there was cheating after the representatives began to transact the business?
4. What was the best combination possible in the first chart?
5. To The Whole group; Wht were your feelings as you played the game. What did you learn from this game? Through this game what values you gained for your life?
Input: What is the reason for cheating (selfishness, greed)
What are the consequenses of cheating ( social disparity)
What is the impact of cheating on individual and society? ( dishonesty, alienation from the society, suicide, murder, theft.)
What is your opinion about the values of the combination
Story : king asked to get the milk but all individuals thought that king would not know if I alon carry water
Time table
8.00-8.15 Prayer
8.15-9.00 Ice breakers and instructions
9.00-10.0 Quize on leadership
10.0-10.15 break.
10.15-11.15 House on fire
11.15-12.15 Role play
12.15-12.45 Lunch break
12.45- 1.10 games
1.00-2.00 longest possible line
2.00-3.00 Money game.
8.00-9.00 Bricks and eagle story
9.00-10.0 flower Vaz.
10.0-10.15 break
10.15-12.00 strength bombardment
12.00-12.15 information on group task.
12.15-1.30 lunch break and preparation for group task.
1.30-2.15 presentation.
2.15-2.30 evaluation and close of the programme.
ANIMAL KINGDOM
Once upon a time there was a group of animals who were great friends. They were not very educated, so they decided that what they needed is a school, a school for animals. So they started one. Somebody said that the first thing to be done was to set up a curriculum committee. The bird said that the flying should be in the curriculum; so they entered that. The fish said that the swimming should be in the curriculum. The squirrel said that the perpendicular tree climbing shoould be offered. The rabbit said running was a must. All the animals suggested their specialities for the curriculum. But hten they made the terrible mistake of making all the courses compulsory.
The rabbit was great runner. No one could run like the rabbit but they took him up to a branch of a tree and said: 'fly rabbit' the rabbit jumped, tried to fly, broke a leg and suffered brain damage. He got pass marks in flying because of effort but he could not even run as he did before and recieved pass marks there also. The bird was great flyer. He couldfly loops and dive like a freak but they had him dig holes in the ground like the field mouse and he broke his beak and wings. He faild in hole digging and barely passed in flying. And so it went. The squirrel almost drowned in his swimming course and the jackal broke his back in perpendicular tree climbing, but they all got pass marks for effort and attendance. The gold medalist was a bat who do a little bit of everything but nothing well.
questions:
1. what is your first impression of this parable ?
2. Should a teacher build on a learner's strength or weakness ?
3. Can a person be excellent in many fields ?
4. What are the insights we gain from this stroy for our teaching career ?
THE SAMARITAN'S PLIGHT
Narrator: There was a man who was going down from
Samaritan; Good Lord! What do I see? One of my brothers has been beaten black and blue by some people........ Oh ,let me help out lest he dies.....
Narrator: He went over to him and made him walk along. He left him in one of the hotels nearby and said to the hotel owner;
Samaritan: Please, take good care of this man. On my return I'll pay you the expenses....
Inn-keeper: Leave him here.... I'll take good care of him.
Narrator; Next day the same Samaritan found another wounded man on the road side who had been attacked by the same robbers. He was moved by pain and said;
Samaritan: oh! too bad. This should not have happened..... let me help him out and take good care of him...
Narrator; The Samaritan taliked to the wounded man with concern and later took him to the inn.
(in the hotel, inn-keeper is busy taking care of the patient)
Samaritan: Sir, I have come with another patient. would you please take care of him? By the way, take this cash for all the expences you will incure on these friends of mine.
Innkeepr: Well, let him be here... but don't bring anymore patients here... this is a hotel and not a hospital...
Narrator: The nest day once again the Samaritan found one more women fallen on the road side and seriously injured..... felt sorry for her fate and tooke her along with him to the inn....
( min the hotel)
Samaritan: Sir, I have brought one more victim. Kindly take good care of her...
Inn-keeper: This is the last time I admit your patient..... Moreover, the money you have given is not sufficient at all...
Samaritan: Very sorry sir for all the trouble given to you... When I get money I shall pay all the dues promptly...
Narrator; One fine morning, when the Samaritan was walking on the same road, he himself was attacked by the robbers.... but the robbers did not find a single penny in his pocket... they got angry with him and hit him brutally as if to finish him off.... the good samarital lay on the rad all in pain and agony waiting eagerly for help and treatment... Then came a passerby, who saw him and felt pity for him and said.
passerby: What a thing to happen to you? I feel very sad that you are all hurt.... But I am in a hurry... I have to go to
Narrator: Thus, many went by the same road and saw the injured Samaritan and felt pity for him.... But no one ventured to help him... After as long time of pain and struggle, the good Samaritan died.... the one who gave life for others, died a silent death without getting help from others.....
Dera friends, in our day-to-day life we witness similar instances of this nature.Like the good Samaritan in this skit, or in our village or family.... they are busy in thet of giving themselves fully to others.... they offer themselves without counting the cost.....
WHERE HAPPINESS
Narrator: His majesty, King Ragunath was very, very sad..... wealth, mistresses, friends, power, popularity, pleasures he had them for the asking .... But happiness, joy peace he never had !
Narrator: sitting on his royal throne full of disgust he kept saying....
King: My heart is empty.... I feel sad, depresses, lonely, unhappy... nobody nothing can satisfy me... How disappointing is life!
Narrator; On one occassion, he told his friends....
King: I am lost and unhappy.... I am feeling alone and lonely.... all my pleasures, my welth, my glory are tormenting me... they are choking me... kindly offer me help and set me free from this worry...
Friend 1; your majesty, I am shocked and puzzeled to know tha you are sad... How can this happen? you are the mightiest and the richest of kings I have ever heard of.
Friend 2 : Your majesty, I can think of one remedy... we shall find out the happiest person in you kingdom. Once we find him, we shall bring him over here. We shall ask him to live with you and help you learn the techniques of happiness.
Narrator: Next day, the king sent his servants to the four corners of his kingdom in search of a happy man. One of his servants talkied to a very rich wealthy business man.
Servant: kindly tell me , are you happy? you have enough property, welth and money. I am sure, you must be spending time with lot of fun and frolic.
Businessman: yes, I have plenty of money, wealth, security... a large faminly... lots of pleasures and comforts.. But you know, there is still so much I could have... I can still make more profit and more money... How can I be happy without making more profit ?
Narrator: Another servant met the most popular actor, singer and the darling of the crowds in the kingdom...
Servant: You are most famous personality in the kingdom.... you are wanted by all... yu are admired by all... Tell me, are you truely happy?
Actor: No, I am not happy.... I have to compete with other actors and singers.... Our world is full of jealousy and hatred... We rejoice at the down fall of our colleagues... This is defiitely not happiness.
narrator: Days went by... the search was of no use.... The servants met big farmers, writers, profesores, priests, bakers, politicians... but allin vain... on their return, they sat down under a tree on a river bank... There on that spot, they chanced to see a poor and simple man resting under the shadow of a tree.... He was happy and gay and was merrily whistling.... They went close to him and told about their search for a happy man.
Servant: We search the leangth and breadth of the kingdom for a happy man.... but we coould not find one....
Poor man: How is it possible ? There are truely happy people in our land. I am one of them... I am very happy, satisfied and fullof joy...
servant 1: What you...! you are happy? How can this happen? you don't even have a descent dress to wear....
poor man: friend, happiness doestnot consist in how much you possess... rather it is the attitude of the heart... it is being happy with whatever God has given you.
Servant 2: If you are truely happy, then please come with us to the palace... the king wantsto talk to you...
servants: Your majesty, we have brought the happiest person found in your kingdom...
King: Are you truely happy ? Really happy?
poor man: yes your majesty. I am very happy and satisfied.
King: Then please help me. Only you can help me.
poor Man: I ? Your majesty ? To help you? What can I do for you?
King: Please, I beg you, allow me for a time to love in your house... share yoour clothing part take in your meals.... That's all I ask of you......
Poorr man: I am ... I am sorry your majesty... I am happy... there is no doubt about it .... But I never had a house... Not eve a house... I have no other clothes than those I am wearing.... for meals, I have to daily go for begging....
BUT ME ?
Narrator: Long , Long ago, tree and plants used to talk to each other. One fine day, some of them met and had the following friendly chit-chat. The coconut tree said to the sturdy and strong teak tree;
Coconut tree: Look at my body ! I feel ashamed and shy to think of my body. It is ugly, shapeless, rough, full of scars and marks... my flesh is useless... But I admire the quality of your flesh. What strength, what sturdy timber you make.... No rain, No sun, no cloud will ever make a dent on you.... No termites, no beetles and worms will drill a hole in you.... But me? Bah! what a worthless stuff I am made up off !
Narrator: Now it was the turn of the teak tree to talk. It turned to the mango tree and said;
Teak tree: I admire your juicy, sweet smelling and tasty fruits. You have so much to offer. Everybody is so fond of you. You are a universalfavourite... But me? Frankly, I feelashamed of myself. look at me. My body is ugly and bony. I am barren. I have no fruitsto offer to anyone.. When I find myself so dry and worthless, I begin hating myself....
Narrator: The mango tree cast an envious glance at the rosebush and pulling a long face said:
Mango tree: Oh! How I envy you! you are so beautifully decked in such colourful flowers. They are sweet-scented, pretty to look and charming. The bees flock to you for honey, men love to have you in their homes and gardens. But me? alas, poor me! I have no clour, no flowers, no scent... What a wretched I am.......
Narrator: The rosebush turned to a neem tree nearby and said:
Rosebush: you know I love the texture of you skin. So smooth ! how finely honed you are. You look so fresh and sensuous. So plesant to the touch! But me? I hat my skin> look, I'm poky, prickly and thorny. No one likes to touch me.....
Narrator: The neem tree stare green- eyed at a coconut tree. It looked so tall and stately. The neem tree with a mixture of envy and frustration said;
Neem tree: When I see you standing here so tall and stately, braving rain and wind, heat and cold, I feel so small. I feel so ashamed. But me? What I have to offer but leaves and leaves. I am useless.... Good for nothing.....
Narrator: The huge banian tree was following the conversation closely. It thought quite differently. It had a different way of looking at things. It made some wise remarks:
Banian tree: Friends, why are we busy comparing ourselves with each other? Each one of us are good in one are or the other. The coconut tree gives coconuts, the mango tree supplies fruits, the teak tree provides timber and the neem tree is medicinal. God has seen to it that we are useful in one way or the other. Let us be happy with what we are than making a litany of what we lack.
MESSAGE: Dear friends, " I am good for nothing; I am useless, worthless; I am ashamed of myself" these are the jargons many of us carry inour minds. Web saw how each treefelt that it is useless and worhtless. but in fact, each tree has it's own unique quality and traits. It is upto us to recognise the goodness in each one of us and bloom and blossom wherever we are planted...... Here is a song we would like tosing ...... Bloom, Bloom, Bloom where you're planted...........
bloom bloom bloom where you're planted
yoou will have your day.
Look at the flowers , look at them growing
They never worry, they never work
Yet look at the way, our father clothes them
each with a beauty, all of its own.
Some plant the seed that others will water
But in all things, God gives the growth
Come let Him garden the flowers within you
Come and discover some you've never known.
Look at the love that lies deep withinyou
Let yourself be, let yourself be
Look at the gifts, you have been given
Let them go freee, let them go free..
MISTER GARDENER
Narrator: Mr.gardener was a man in love with flowers... To grow flowers and allsorts of flowers was his only aim in life..... to smell their fragrance was all his delight.... one day Mr. Gardener threw a party in his garden for all his friends and admirers. He wanted them to enjoy the wone\der and beauty of his garden... As he thought of his party he was puzzled.
Gardener: What present shall I give my guests when they come for the party? will a bouquet each of my most beautiful flowers do? No... No... I feel bad to cut so many young blooming flowers.... besides, a bouquet will soon wither and my guests will forget about my party.
Narrator: At last Mr. gardener got a bright idea. Bubbling with joy he exclaimed:
Narrator: Mr. gardene called a party in his garden. To each of his guests, he presented a small bag of seeds and said:
Gardened: My friends
Guest 1: Mr. gardener, you have relly maintained a beautiful garden, look at the variety of flowers. I really marvel you patience and hard work.
Guest 2: Mr. gardener. it was really nice of you to have gifted us with seeds of flowers. Now, we ourselves can maintain a garden like yours
Narrator: The guest took those little precious bags and went home. Each one of them had different attitude towards the seeds. One of them said to himself;
Guest 3: There are more important things in life than flowers.Let me not waste time with these silly flowers.
narrator: Another guest muttere to himself.
Guest 4: Yes, these seeds are really good.... I'll see waht I can do with them... Now I have no time. Perhaps sometimes later I'll plant them.
Narrator: whenhe reached home, he promptly put the seeds in the drawer not to open it again. Another guest said to himself.
Guest 1: yes, I love flowers..... but I have no time to cultivate them.... I'll ask my servants to palnt them...
Narrator: He gave the seeds to his servant and did not bother much about them. The flowers grew but looked colourless and lifeless. Finally, there was a guest full of enthusiasm for guardening.He exclaimed;
Guest 2: I love flowers.... I'll cultivate these seeds with all love and concern,.... I'll spend time on them and bestow upon them all the neccessary care...........
Narrator: And of course, it goes without saying. His guarden was as beautiful as colourful and as scented as the one of Mr. Gardener.
Dear friends, all of us are gifted with immense talents and gifts given by God. Talents are showered on us so that we utilize them and get the best out of them. It is only when our capacities are realised that we become happy and contented. Let us be like that guest who with full vigour and zest planted the seeds and got rich dividend> God asks us to give our whole self in whatever we do.Let us put our heart and soul in all that we do and derive rich benefits from all our efforts and endeavours.
1. What sort of person am I ? What mainly contributed to me being this sort of person?
What sort of person do I want to becom?
2. What things about myself do I like?
What things aboout myself are in my favour?
3. What things about myself do I not like?
What things about myself are not in my favoour?
4. In one page tell the story of your early childhood.
5.What would you like to say about you when you pass away?
6.What do people complement you for/
What do people criticise you for?
7.What three ideals have you for yoourself?
What do you hope this course will offer you ?
IWAS BORN GREAT!
AM I STILL GREAT?
THE SELF ESTEEM CREDO
God made me- I was no accident,
No happenstance,
I was in God's plan.
And he doesn't make junk, ever.
I was born to be
A siccesful human being,
I am somebody special unique,
definitely one of a kind,
And I love me.
That is essential so that
I might love you too.
I have talents, p[otentials yes,
There is greatness in me, and
If I harness that speciallness,
then I willwrite my name
in the sands of time with my deeds.
yes. I must work harder, longer,
with greater drive,
If I am to excel,
And I will pay that price,
For talents demand daily care, and honing
I was born in God's image
and likeness
And will strive to do God's will.
TO MAKE YOU A MORE LIKEABLE PERSON
10 COMMANDMENTS OF HUMAN RELATIONS
1. Speak to people. There is nothing as nice as acheerful word.
2. Smile at people. It takes 72 muscles to frown, but 14 to smile.
3. Call people by name. The sweetest music to anyone's ear is the sound of his/her name.
4. Be friendly and healpful. If you have friends, be friendly.
5. Be cordial. Speak and act as if everything you do were pleasure.
6.Be genuinly ineterested in people. You can llike everybody if you try.
7. Be generous with praise, caution with criticism.
8. Be considerate to the feelings of others. It will be appriciated.
9. Be thoughtful about the openions of others. There are three sides to a controversy- yours, the other fellows and the right one.
10. Be alert to give service. What counts in life is what we do for others.
HINTS TO ENHANCE YOUR SELF IMAGE
The folowing for developing and maintaining a better self image:
1. Rejoicing exceedingly and gloat over the good qualities you discover in yourself, however microscopic, they may seem to you. they are yours!
2. Believe well-spoken people, i.e. People who tell good things about you. Believe them. They are not out to cheat you. Drink in every good thing they say about you.
3. Accept any sign of love and appriciation given to you. Take them in treasure them. Do not close yourself to love and then say,I am not lovable. Donot asssume or presupose that you are not lovable and you will find the people love you.
4. Time and again try to relive peak experiences of your life. From time to time remember some of the most loving, comforting, exhilarating experiences of yoour past life. Believe them with with gusto.
5. Discover and accept your uniqueness. There is no other you! Love yourself. The self you have is the only self you have. Learn to love it. Either you love it and be happy, or reject it and feel miserable.
6. You are irreplaceable. No one can ever fill the gap you will leave. You are not interchangiable. Be glad being yourself.
7. Be yourself. Do not be afraid or ashamed of being yourself, of being you. Do not try to be someone else. Do not allow others to force you to be some ither. If others do not like youfor what you are , it is too bad for them. They miss your greatness, It is not bad for you. You remain what you are.
8. Do not compare yourself to others. I f you mmake yourself greater thatn others, you areno fair to them. It is bad for them. If you make yourself smaller than others, you are not fair to yourself. It is bad for you. Persons cannot be compared. Each one is incomparable.
9. Do not grade yourself. Things that are unique cannot be graded. You cannot grade the beauty of the sunrise. grading is grading! you are you! you are your own grading. being yourself will get 100% marks.trying tobe others you willget 0% marks.
10. Do not force expectations on yourself. Blot out from your vocabulary all these words: I shoould, I must, I ought, I have to be like this or that, No! if you want to use these words, there is only one should, one must, one aught, one have, namely you should, must, ought to be yourself.
Small things: One little unshed raindrop may think itself too small; yet, somewhere, a thirsty flower awaits its fall. One little word, unspoken, may seem too small to say; But, somewhere, for that one word, a heart may pray.
POINTS TO REMEMBER ON HOW TO MAKE YOUR INFERIORITY COMPLEX AGOLDEN ONE.
1. Reduce your complex by tossing aside contradictory aims.
2. Make a choice among virtues and aims. No one can have all the wonderful traits most of us would like to have. No one can do everything in one brief life time. So make a sensible choice.
3. Accept yourself. of course, you have limitations: So has everyone. But with alll your limitations, you are unique. Self- acceptance is absolutely neccessary as a prelude to emotional maturity. Don't try to be somebody else. You yourself are someone very special. Yoou can be proud and humble at the same time. All that is good in you stems from God. If you reject yourself, you are really rejecting God.
4. Learn to know yourself: Knowing yourself doesn't necessarily mean being introspective. Sometimes it means trying yourself out. Often learning to know yourself means learning to do things you never dreamed you could.
5. Love yourself: Many pious people seem to think it is a n affront to God to love themselves. Yet the Bible says ' Love your neigbour as yourself'. If we despise ourselves because we arn't perfect, then we won't be able to love anyone, for we won't be able to find any perfect person. Accept your own imperfections; try to improve when you can, but don't brood about your faults.
6. Anayse the traits in which you think you are moste deficient: Find out wether your best friend agrees with you, or wether you are imagining a deficiency that doesn't exist.
7. Get infront of the mirror as soon as you finish this chapter: Select one trait you would like to have, and tell yourself, in front of the mirror, that you are going to improve in that trait.
8. Try to do the best work you can in some field that interests you: If you think you have a decficiency, seek something else at which you can shine.
9. Try to do work of which you can be proud, which at the same time will be some benefit to the world; If you merely gratify your ego or fill you pocket book, you won't achieve real happiness. The best way to channel your I.C. is to feel that you are making a genuine contribution in joy or service to the world.
10. Don't depricate yorself and don't brag.
YOU ARE BETTER THAn YOU THINK.
God never fails His devotees in hour of trail. The condition is that there must be living faith in him and uttermost reliance on Him. The test of faith is that having done our duty we must be prepared to welcome whatever He may send- joy as well as sorrow; good luck as well as bad luck. GANDHI.
MODERN PARABLE OFTHE BOX
This is a story about a young man who lived in a box. It was really a ordinary box. The thing the man likied most about the box was the darkness. He wrapped the darkness around him like a velvety new blanket. It calmed and comforted him. It made him feel safe.
Safely inside the box the yonng man enjoyed listening to the noise, laughter and singing of others outside the box. Sometimes he even put his ear up to the side of the box so he could here the m more clearly. After they went away, he could try to imitate their singing and laughter. But somehow one person singing or laughing did not sound the same as several singing and laughing together.
One day some of the ones outside began to call to him. 'hey' they shouted, ' we know that you are there. come on out and join us, we can sing and laugh and have a great time" They kept calling to him the young man went over to the side of the box and listened for a small indentation in the side of the box. He listened for a while. Then using his fingernail like a drill, he made a very small hole in the box. He peeped out through the little hole. He saw all of them outside. They were laughing and singing and having fun. The young man thought how much he would like to join them. But hen he thought of himself, ' What if I got out to join them and they don't like me. What if thorw stones at me, or gang up on me, or push me ? What if they kill me?
Quikly the young man retreated to his favourite corner and sat down. He felt tired and sad. Suddenly a tiny beam of light came through the small hole he had amde, and penentrated the darkness. It glidstered and shone like a fragile radientt thread connecting him with the outside world.
The young man strated at the light. Qietly he snuggled into the corner and hugged the darkness about him.
Reflection:
Many young people today are likethis young man. They hide in a 'BOX' they have created for themselves of fear, enxiety, shyness low self-image difference... they need someone to help they get out of this box into the sunsine of life and love where they can develoip, grow and become all that they are capable of becoming.
I LIKE NOT ONLY TO BE LOVED, BUT TO BE TOLD THAT I AM LOVED. THE REALM OF SILENCE IS LARGE ENOUGH BEYOND THE GARAVE.
George Eliot.
1. 2.5 kg Sugar 1. 2.5 kg sugar
2. 10 kg Rice 2. 10 kg Rice
3. 2 Liril soaps 3. 2 Liril soaps
4. 2.5 kg Tomatoes 4. 2.5 kg Tomatoes
5. 1.5 liter cooking oil 5. 1.5 liter cooking oil
6. 8 Pieces of scales 6. 8 Pieces of scales
7. 18 geometry
8. 5 glasses of pepsi 8. 5 glasses of Pepsi
9. 3.5 feet thread 9. 3.5 feet thread
10. 4.75 kg fish 10. 4.75 kg fish
Concentration.
Why do we need to have concentration?
Many events: past full of events
present We also need to do many things.
Future
therefore need to focus - power from water
- light through small hole = film
- Rocket = the gas pressed down through small hole. Rocket
moves upword.
The story of Arjuna from Gita. Dronacharya the teacher. Arjuna the shooter. sky, star, tree, branches, bird, eyeball of the bird.
What is concentration?
Concentric circle
Keeping the center fixed.
seeing, looking, watching, peep through, go through, = concentration.
outside world
inside world
fantasy world
focusssing attention exclussively and intenssively on something.
If one can solidly learn to distinguish between fantasy and reality of life we can gain much from life. you go no where if you fantasise. you like someone fantasy waste of time . get down to earth. speak to the person if you have guts and face reality.
How to overcome the wondering mind.
discipline. give time to self which we do not do usually. fix some time for this. do nothing , speak nothing. just be yourself. recognise what is going on within yourself. all thoughts, fantasies , disterbaces, doubts, worries, uncertainties. understand yoursef. In the begining it may look foolish but it is very much rewarding anf highly fruitful. life is full of noise. --- need of gurukula system.
Blocks for concentration: Media tv. films: Sequence of films nowadaysare very short and differefnt places and senaries, vestaments everything new and change. cannot stick on to one place and one thoght one subject. eg
What could be the remedies?
Creer guidence;
What do you want to become?
give five reasons
list five tallent s that you have
list two hobbies that you have adopted and fostered in your life.
what are the five things thatyou value most.
What is that you interests you most
What are the five things that you like to do most
read through and find out whether they correspond to what you wnat to be.
problems: force from parents, friends.
fear of society
competition. recognition, status. name. family prestige.
Artist becomming engineer?
life situation of a youth thomas.
story of Einstein.
You must choose what you want to be in your future life. No parents friends can completely help you. they cannot be held resposible for your life. they can suggest to you and poit out some areas that you are good at. none other than yoourself can take a decision for yourself. if they do they are damaging yourself be aware of that.
Skinner box.
All that jobes are important. all are valueable. Subhas chandra bose.
fisherman story. What am I doing now.
MICROSCOPIC VIEW OF THE FUNCTIONING OF A GROUP BEHAVIOUR PATTERNS.
Aim: To help the members to observe the different types of behaviour in the group and how it effects the group life and goal.
Requirements: Slips of paper with different roles see below no 2.
Procedure: Fishbowl: i.e. a group in the centere and others surround the group as observers.
1. Animas meet.12 volunteers are called for from the group. They are the fish. they are given slips as follows and they must imitate the roles given on the slips. One in the fish is asked to volunteer to be the leader. He is then given the topic for discussion i.e. Leaders are made and not born; or organize a picnic........ any topic may be chosen but obe that is interesting.
2. Slips are given to the fish as follows.
- Imitate a donkey: you are very stubborn will not change your point of view " I will not be moved"
- Imitate a Lion: you get in and fight whenever others disagree with your plans or interfere with your desires.
-You are a rabbit: run away as soon as you sense tension or conflict or you switch quickly to anothertopic. -You are an ostrich: bury your head in the sand and refuse to admit there is any problem at all.
-You are a monkey ; fool around and prevent the group from concentrating on any serious business.
-You are a hyena: laugh and make jokes to avoiod the dealing with difficult matters or to put your rivals down.
- You are an elephant: simply block the way, and stubbornly prevent the group from continuing along the road to their desired goal.
- You are the giraffe; look down on the others and the whole meeting in general, feeling that you are above all these petty nonsense.
_ You are the tortoise: withdraw from the group refuse to give your ideas or openions.
- You are the cat: look always for sympathy " It's difficult for me'
-You are the peacock: Compete always for attention ' see what a fine fellow I am
3. After the slips are given a fewminutes are given for each one to prepare to act their role.
4. In the mean time, the rest of the members- the observers ( the bowl) go through the group observation worksheet. The members are divided into four groups by giving them a number.
The gourp number one fill up worksheet A and Bi
''' ''' two Bii
three Ci
four Cii
Worksheet
A. On the level of content:
What is the group talking about i.e. what is the topic or subject matter?
What is being said..................
What is the task..................
What efforts are being made and by whom to realize the objective of the group?
Bi. Level of proccedure and communication: Who talks?
for how long.......................
how often.......................
who interrupts whom? .........................
Who talks after whom.........................
What type of communication or participation is used?..............
What do you observe about their tone of voice, guestures, and facial expressions?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Bii. Whome do the members look at when they talk?.......................
a. other members, possibly to get support.
b. scanning the group.
c. no one
d. Ceiling?
what style of communication is used;
assertion............ questions................tone of voice......................
gestures............... laughter...................
Ci. On the Socio-Emotional level:
What attitudes do you find in the members?
Can you identify the behaviour of the members, one by one?
what is the dominant behaviour in the group?
How does it affect the group members and the group goal?
Cii. Can you identify and hidden agendas ( is someone looking for power or notice etc.?)
is there any atmosphere of mutual trust and cooperation?
Is the group person or task oriented ?
Any other points or observations?
5. Animals meet to discuss the topic; the observers observe the meeting according to the area assigned to them.
6. After the meeting (15mint) the observers get into their respective groups and pool in their observations and write one complete report.
the fish too meet to discuss the performance and bring out some salient points..
7. After the observations are pooled, the guide askes for a feedback from the observers which are put under the heading below on the blackboard.
Content Procedure/ Socio emotional, others.
Coomunication
then the guide askes the fish to indicate the roles they were playing. Thses should be put on another board to see how these roles affected the above.
Note: The participants could be asked to find a partner with whome they feel at home and discuss; If and when they have behaved like one of these animals during meeting.
Conclusion: The guide asks thre members to see how the role of a person who is like a lion and wants to fight can upset the content, communication and socio- emotional aspects of a group because that person wants to rule. Similerly with the others, like the donkey who is stubborn and the elphant who blocks. The guide also points out hte effects this has on other members, like the rabbit who wants to escape and the cat who looks for sympathy, thus the group becomes disintergarated fro lack of cohesion and there is no velence and the goal is not achieved.
He askes the members to find out the basic ause of such behaviour and if not brought out, he sums up by giving basic causes:
1. Problem of Identity: Who am I here? How am I to present myself to others? What role should I play in the group?
2. The problem of control, power- who has the power in the situation? How much do I need?
3. The problem of goals- which of my needs can the goals of thegroup fulfill ? Can any of my needs be met here? To which of the groups goal can I attach myself?
4. The problem of acceptence and intimacy: Am I accepted by the others? Do I accept them, do they like me? Do I like them? How close toothers do I want to become:
Each of these problems create tention and enxiety in the members of a group. Their behaviour towards others is a product of trying to solve each of the problems listed, as well as trying to copy with their tensions and enxieties. Different individuals handle their anxiety in different ways thus generating many different kinds of reactions in the group.
FIVE TIPS FOR ORGANISERS
1. Don't do it yourself. if your job is to organize, leave specific work to others.Your task is not to do the work but to organize it. This doesn't mean you won't help out in an emegency, but ordinarily your first responsibility is organizing and palnning.
2. An organisation lives on it campaigns: People work hard for visible goals, not invisible or distant ones. Break up long range goals into steps and go after one step at a time.
3. Keep close to the ordinary membership, the rank and file. Your vitality and that of your organisation is fed by the hopes, desires, and difficulties of the rank and file membership.
4. Go " from the people to the people"
a. Listen first: what bare the people saying, what do they want, what do they feel, waht are their hopes and fears. Catch the expressions they use to express their feelings. Make note of them.
b. Build your programme of action accordingly. Show how yoour programme answers those hopes, needs and fears.
5. Communicate constantly: Do not " hoard" information. Share it. Let all members continually know what is happening.
Eagle story;
a. What lessons do you learn from building the tower and the eagle story?
b. Have you come accross similer experiences in your life?
Input: We are prejudiced with ourselves, fear I cannot do, what will the others say? I am good for nothing, she is better than me , let her do that... etc.
Not ready to set High goals. sometimes set high goals and do nothing about it .
Not ready to take the risk.
Not ready for sacrifice.
eagle story: When people encourage support and through light upon oursef, often we reject the ideas and neglect them. otherwise we come to know oursef and develiop ourself to the fullest extent possible.
In the venture of developing ourselves we require tremendous encouragement and support from others, companions , friends, teachers, parents etc. So we will havw nowstrength bombardment.
a
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