Persons, self awareness & development
CIRCLE OF LOVE
AIM : To have a deepening understanding within; your small group and to celebrate your feeling for each other.
MATERIALS: Paper and pencil for everyone.
PROCEDURE :
1. In silence, think of the individuals in your small group. Consider your first impressions of each in the way you feel boy. If it is easier for you to think in terms of colours than in feelings, decide on two colours for each person, one for the way you saw him at the beginning of the course and another for how you see him now.
For indtysnver, gor onr prtdon , you might select light green, because at the outset he appeared to be so young and see him now as quite mature and serious.
2. With one person at a time, remaining silent, the others desctibe their first impressions and their present understanding of him. Be prepared for some suprises.
CIRCLE OF LOVE : (FOR 15 MINUTES )
A. Stand in a circle with your small group and hold your right hand-palm up.
B. One member of the group at a time, express his feelings of affirmation for each of the others. He steps into the center of the group, faces one person and looks into his eyes. Then, without seeking he does something to show how he feels towards that person. You may shake one person's hand , give another a bear hug, dance a step or two with another.
C. When you have expressed your feelings towards each member of the group, step back into the circle and at your hand in front of you, ready to receive another's affirmation.
(Note to the leader: This is a voluntary exercise, some may not care to participate. No one should pressured to do so ) .
D. When everyone has gone around in your group, make a football huddle and celenbrate your wxperience together in some way from a round of prayer to a shout of praise
5. A NAME ISN'T JUST A NAME
OBJECTIVES :
a. To expemplify the dynamics of first impressions.
b. To lay groundwork for deeper and more meaningful relationships to flourish.
PROCEDURE :
1. The facilitator distributes a pencil and 12 slips of papers to each member of the group.
2. Members are asked to write names of each member on the top of the slip of the paper . One name per slip.
3. Beneath the samem each member is to give every other member including himself a new game, one which he feels is appropriate to his perceptions of that mimber ( Zeus, Superman, Zeenat Aman etc. )
4. The slips of paper are collected and given to the appropreate members.
5. One at a time each member sees the name assigned to him and then the name he assigns to himself.
SUGGESTIONS :
A. What meanings did the names assigned to you have ?
Were you surprised at the names assigned to you ?
In what way ?
B. Did the names you assigned yourself correspond with the names given to you ?
c. What this says about our perceptions ?
Were does this say about our perceptions ?
Were you suprised at the names assigned to other members ?
Why ?
6. SEE SAW
OBJECTIVES:
a. To explore hidden agendas
b. To gain insights into self-concept.
GROUP
Group size is unlimited . More successful with 12 or less. Best suited for the latter stages of encounter or growth groups.
PROCEDURE :
1. The facilitator may wish to give a brief talk on perception and its importance to the group.
2. He then asks the members to pair off into dyads joining any member he or she may have some unfinished business with.
3. The dyads are to find some private space in the room. The facilitator gives them the following instructions: “I would like you to discuss any unfinished agendas or restriction is that you make only statements (No questions) beginning with the I see, I saw. This applies to both members. Weather responding or being responded to!”
4. After 20 minutes the facilitator asks members to form new yands and step 3 is repeated.
5. After 20 minutes the group resumes for the discussion.
SUGGESTIONS :
a. What did you learn about your partner’s perception of you?
Were you surprised at any of the statements made?
Did you dyad begin most sentence with “I see” or “I saw” ?
If not, why did you stray from the directions ?
b. What have you learnt about your own perceptions ?
Have they changed ? If so, in what way ?
Do you still feel you have any unfinished business with any other members ? With whom?
7. SCULPTURING OF FEELINGS :
GOALS :
a. To provide a non-verbal medium for the expression of feelings towards another person.
B. To promote feedbacks on individual behaviour.
MATRERIALS :
One large sheet of paper or cardboard, at least 18`` X 24``
PROCEDURE :
1. In the illustration here, the sculpturing intervention comes from the facilitator as part of the interaction and life of the group. If the facilitator perceives that a participant is having difficulty in expressing his feelings towards another, and if that behaviour is interfering withe the growth of the individual of the functioning of the group, he asjs the person needing to express his feelings to stand in the center of the circle with the other participants. The individual towards whom the feelings will be expressed (A) will be told to assume the role o;f the lump of clay, and the participant who will be expressing bis feeling (B) will assume the role of the sculptor.
2. The facilitator instructs B to scuopt A into a statue which reflects the way in which B is experiencing him and his behaviour. He should give A the facial expression, gestures, and body posture which will illustrate this feedback.. A is asked to hold the position after B finishes sculpturing.
3. The facilitator then instructs B to scuopt himself in relation to his feeling s about A and to their positions in relation to ine another. If A ir B cabbit hold his positionthe facilitator asks the other participants to act as “cameras” to recall gestures, postures, or expressions.
4. The facilitator, using the sheet of paper of cardboard as an imaginafy mirror, slowly moves around the statues lf A and B and asks A to describe what he sees in the “mirror “ speaking of himsilf first and then describing B . This is repeated with B . The facilitator may adjust the imaginary mirror if either a or B seems to be missing a signifaicant factor in the statue.
5.The facilitator asks A and B resume their ordinary postures. He assists A and B in talking through the experience, discussing the motovations and feelings of B in sculpting A in that particular manner and the feelings A was having during the exprience. The facilitator may ask the group to suggest any significant behaviour which A and B overlook.
8. A POEM : - PERSONS ARE GIFTS
AIM :
To know how important a person is.
PROCEDURE :
This poem could be used for prayer or for a discussion duriog retreat or recollection. Write this poem on the board or give a copy each to the participant, let them personally reflect over it and them let them write their views on a papdf. After doing this ask them to go to smaller groups and to share in those groups.
POEM TO READ :
Some are wrapped very beartifully,
They are very attractive when we first see them.
Some are wrapped in very ordinary wrapping paper.
Others have been mishandled in the mail
Once in a while here is a “special delivery”.
Some persins are gifted which come very loosely wrapped, others very tightly.
But the wrapping is not the gift,
It is so easy tomake this mistake.
PEE-NUTS
Aim: Self awareness.
Things required: Stones big as goose-berry, as many as number of participants.
Procedure:
Each participant is given a stone and asked to feel it and touch it and study it under close observation. and get familiar with its colour, size, shape and other particulars.
Once the participants get familiar with his/her stone they are asked to mix it with the participants’ sitting next, and rediscover his/her stone.
The second step would be forming groups of five or more and mixing the stone in the group and re-discovering the stone. This is repeated with a merger of 2 groups and ultimately the stone is discovered with closed eyes.
Questions:
1. How did you feel about the game?
2. Was it easy to rediscover your stone?
3. Did you feel attached to the stone; if so why?
4. Did you develop any attachment to your stone?
Analysis:
* Stones stand for our own selves.
* We have to feel come home to ourselves, be aware of our selves and get in touch with ourselves.
* Only when we grow in self awareness we grow as human; being.
* Only when grow in self awareness we grow as human beings with the unique qualities, therefore even when we are lost we can rediscover ourselves.
SLOGANS OF LIFE
Aim. Self awareness and an awareness of others’ character and temperament.
Procedure:
A few slogans will be put up on the black board. The participants are asked to choose any slogan which appeals to them most.
The slogans can be as follows:
1. Busy...do not disturb.
2. Touch me not.
3. Beware
4.....Help.
5....Give respect and take respect.
6. welcome.
7. Learn from me.
8. I’ve the right answer.
9. Come to me.
10. Please put up with me.
11. Trespasses will be prosecuted.
12. Look at me.
13. Please don’t loot at me.
14. Kick me.
15. I’m the savior.
16. I’m not a child.
17. I’m an adult.
18. Business!!! Come to my chamber.
19. Time is precious....I can’t afford to waste.
20. I’m a wreck....don’t dare to involve with me.
21. Private property.
22. Keep distance please.
23. Believe me.
24. It’s impossible.
25. Please understand me.
26. Failures are stepping stones to doom.
27. Mind your business.
28. I am good enough.
After individuals make a choice of slogan they are asked to share the slogan with their group and give the reasons for choosing this slogan.
Analysis:
* It can be very revealing about ourselves, why we
choose a particular slogan.
* All of us have a slogan in life and we express it in
different ways -words, actions, deeds, attitudes. E.g. if the secret slogan of my life is ‘ I am busy ‘ we fail to give time to people in life; when we believe that people don’t treat us well and people don’t listen to us we develop a slogan “please understand me ”, and our behavior becomes like martyr-like.
* It is good to know ours as well as others slogans of life for a co-operative living..
* it can be very revealing about ourselves, why, we
choose a particular slogan.
* All of us have a slogan in life and we express it in different ways-words, action, deeds, attitudes e.g. If the secret slogan of my life is I'm busy we fail to give time to people in life. When we believe that people do not treat us well and people do not listen to us we develop a slogan "Please understand me" and our behaviour becomes martyr-like.
* It is good to know our as well as others' slogans of
life for a cooperative living.
Swallow:
Aim: To create an awareness about the consequences of our independence.
There lived some swallows who used to migrate to warmer countries for the winter. However, this particular swallow who wanted to be different from others and unconventional. So when all the others swallow flew away she tried to make herself at home in a cozy net. Everything went on well until the winter became severe. The bird could not face it any longer, got frozen and died.
Questions:
* what opinion did the swallow have of itself and of others?
* what are the short-comings that we find in the swallow ?
* what are the lessons we learn from this story?
Analysis:
* Need to question conventions and culturally set patterns of behavior.
* However, it is necessary to discover the validity of a tradition.
* Acting independently is a value but, it should be with due discernment and not a rash over independence.
* Neither over dependence nor over independence is desired. There must be independent (free) dependence. One must listen to all, reflect all, but choose what is best and act on it.
EPITAPH ON TOMB STONE
Aim: To work towards the ideals we hold in our life.
Procedure:
The participants are given an example f an epitaph on a tombstone like "I will not rest until every tear is wiped out from every eye" is the epitaph on Gandhi's tome. Similarly the participants are asked to frame an epitaph to their tombstone. Each participant is given enough time to discern the goal in life and frame an epitaph. It is later shared in the group; and if the whole group is too beg they share in the smaller groups.
Analysis:
* We wish to gave an epitaph on our tomb that which
we hold as a great value in life.
* It reveals our inner selves and what we hold precious but it would remain meaningless if we do not work towards it in our life time to that extent the epitaph framed by us will be irrelevant and a contradiction on our tomb. Therefore we need to work towards a fuller realization of the goal of our life.
* If you wait people to write such an epitaph that you have in mind you need to live such a life. If you are clod towards the needs of others do not expect people to write "here lies a warm heart".
DISCUSSING ON CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC.
Aim: To bring out the need for proper listening and speak to the point.
Procedure:
The participants are given a debatable topic which calls us controversy e.g. “religion is a bone to society”. A person is asked to speak in favour of topic giving two or three reasons for his stand; the person speaking against has to repeat what the former has said and then give his/her counter arguments. In turn the first person or the 3rd person has to repeat the arguments and then give his arguments. The process continues accordingly.
I can be noted that the persons will not merely forget the arguments to repeated but also not bothered to repeat. Ion other words the counter arguments will be independent of the arguments put forth.
Questions.
1. How long did you repeat the arguments. Was it easy to do so. Was there an attitude of listening and speaking to the point.
Analysis.
* We often get into arguments in daily life since we are unique individuals we have our own ideas, ideals, opinions, etc. based on required therefore, is an understanding of the person involved in the controversy and an openness to the views of the others. In arguments we often tend to bombard our ideas rather than listen to others. When the others speak we are busy framing our arguments. This leads to misunderstanding, misquoting, etc.
* The consequences of such controversies turn out to be a hot argument culmination in a fight instead of a healthy open-minded debate for a better understanding.
THE REAL TEACHER: YOUR IDEA.
What is your idea of real teaching? See whether the following questions help you to sort out your own thoughts. If you wish to this with a couple of friends and share your answers.
1. Who was the greatest teacher you ever had? Why do you choose that person?
2. Think of the best time that you actually were learning something (In school or out). How long ago was that? Why did you learn? How did you learn?
3. Think back to the last class that you went to? What happened? How did you feel about going to it? What did you do in it?
4. What do you want most of a teacher? Personally.
5. Suppose you were principal of a school that had thousands of applications for a teaching post finally the choice narrowed down to two splendidly qualified teachers, but one has a special quality that makes you choose him. What is that special quality?
6. In the light of your reflection complete the sentence below within 25 words;
The real teacher is one who.......................
LETTER TO GOD
Aim-- to give an experience (Awareness ) of the down-to-earth-ness of 'God reality'.
Procedure:
Participants are asked to write a letter to God. One can write anything he/she wants to write.
Note... Animator must avoid reading any of their letters. This is strictly a personal exercise.
Analysis:
( Do we feel free to express everything that we feel deep within us to God If yes--that is true prayer.
* True prayer is telling Him everything-- joyful and sorrowful freely.
* Reverence to God should come out of love and not out of fear.
HEALING SESSION
Aim: To give an experience of inner release and serenity that glows from accepting ourselves as we are and by experiencing an unconditional acceptance from Jesus.
To realize the social dimension- the only dimension of our sin.
Things required: all should carry a paper and pencil/pen. a pot of fire.
Procedure: All sit in a circle.
1. Introduction .
sin is always and necessarily social...etc. we are here to get reconcile to each other to ourselves and to feel the deep acceptance of Jesus. We all form one community and therefore any breakage should be repaired etc.
ii. An appropriate bhajan should be sung to create a reflective mood.
iii A short talk on the kindness of Jesus is given in an appealing way.
iv. Participants are asked first to recall to mind and then to write down to 6 of their bitter experiences with regard to their relationships or the experiences that make them feel guilty etc. on a sheet of paper.
v.All come back and sit in a circle.
vi.Take Jesus and your bitter neighbor and show tell them your feelings. Offer all of them together with your neighbors to Jesus.
vii.Then participants are left free to make spontaneous prayers.
viii.Then participants come one by one and put their papers into the fire pot that is kept in the center of the circle.
ix. A thanks giving prayer is made.
Note... The animator should make it clear that healing session is not a problem solving session; hence problems will not be solved. But it is like cleaning wounds and bandaging them again.... Time should not exceed 40 to 45 minutes.
SKINNER'S BOX
AIM: Role of encouragement and discouragement in life.
PROCEDURE:
Chair and table is placed at the centre. a volunteer is sent out. and an action involving the chair and table is decided. e.g. sitting on the table with crossed legs, and chair on the head.
When the volunteer enters and moves towards the desired action he is encouraged by the group with claps. When he moves at wrong direction he is booed at. Guided by the claps and boos the volunteer has to perform the desired action.
Examples:
Hungry rat is put in a box with a few leaves. When he presses a particular lever he is reinforced by a piece of cheese. When he presses other lever he does not get desired result. Ultimately he performs the desired behaviour by pulling the particular lever for the piece of cheese acted as reinforcement.
ANALYSIS:
- We need encouragement and corrections in life to learn something.
- Similarly we need to give same thing to others too.
- we should not get overwhelmed by encouragement because there are chances of remaining stagnant. At the same time do not get discouraged by criticisms. And accept them as correction in order to reach the desired behaviour.
- Parent’s role in encouraging a child to study, even a little good action of a child requires approval.
- Role of a leader is encouraging and correcting. any correction given is not punishment.
BEGGING BOWL
AIM: To make own aware of the hidden treasures within him/her.
Chandrakanth, a beggar who possesses a begging bowl which he uses for various purposes, like begging, having meals, bathing, as a pillow, etc. He is very much attached to it.
One day when he begs at a gold smith's shop, the gold-smith discovers that the bowl is made of pure gold. Only when the gold-smith makes his aware, the beggar realizes that he is a very rich man.
QUESTION FOR OUR DISCUSSION:
- Name any fire qualities of a person, whom you come across in the story.
- In this story what does the begging bowl stand for? (What does the symbol of begging bowl mean)?
- How does the story applicable to our life?
- What do we learn from this story.
ANALYSIS:
- The talents in us and the riches that we posses often hidden and the person is unaware.
- need for someone to point out the talents and potential.
- Role of the parents and teachers as the gold-smith in this regard.
- Openness to learn about us from others- certain amount of trust in others.
- Very fact you carry a golden-bowl, you do not become rich. you will become so only when you recognise its greatness and utilise it in a proper manner. If one claims to be a great singer but never sings in the presence of the others, that talent is next to useless. Therefore, I become only when I go beyond myself and express my self to the others.
Business Deal
Aim: Awareness of the helpful and hindering behaviors (between groups and of individuals within a group and inter group) in the attainment of a goal or achievement of a task(camp, retreat, home, office, community etc.)
Requirements: Trading cards (5 different colours as many as participants and group paper symbols)
Procedure:
Participants are divided into groups of 5 persons or more each . Any extras can be asked to be observers or scores. The purpose of the game is to make money by means of trading the cards given to each participant. Each participant is given 5 trading cards (one yellow, one green, one pink, one blue, one white) and paper symbol of the group - as many as groups and members in each group, namely, if there are four groups, one needs 4 different paper symbols for the number of members in each group.
The trading cards have the following points:
Yellow... 50 points
Green... 25 points
Pink... 15 points
Blue... 10 points
White... 5 points
Paper symbol - triangle, square, circle, etc. drawn on small pieces of paper.
There are 10 trading rounds, each taking 5 minutes. After the 10th round the game is finished. To trade and bargain, each member must hold hands with another paper; no taking is allowed except while holding hands. Those who doesn’t wish to bargain or trade, fold their arms across their chest.
Once players hold or join their hands, a legal trade must be made (exchange of 2 cards -one card each). Only one card for one exchange are allowed. A player must not show his cards, except for the card that he is trading with another player. Bonus points are awarded as follows:
3 cards of the same colour=10 points
4 cards of the same colour=20 points
5 cards of the same colour= 30 points
e.g. If a player has, during the counting, 3 blue cards and 2 yellow cards, he gets 140 points.
3 blue x 10 = 30 +2 yellow x 50 = 100 + 3 cards of same colour(blue)= 10 == 140.
If the game is played by three groups and the cards are distributed unequally so that one group gets more money than others, the game will be star power.
The trading can be done within the group and outside the group. There are 2 kinds of winners: individual winner: i.e. individual whose cards have the highest value at the end of the final round. Group winner: i.e. the group with the highest total of individual and group score are taken by each group and recorded by the leader. The three highest individual scores from each group and the group score are written on the BB after each round.
After the 3rd and 8th round, the groups are given time to discuss their strategies. After the 5th round the groups may consult with each other, through their leaders, if they wish. The total score is declared after the 10th round and the group winner is announced.
Analysis:
* What do you think of the behavior of individual and groups ? desired or disliked; what was the effect?
* Is there a parallel with real life ? give examples.
* Role of co-operation and competition and get us anywhere in life ? What kind of behavior was found more fruitful ?
In any group task or activity, there are behaviors that help or hinder the achievement of the task or the performance of the activity. Hindering behaviors, such as competitive spirit, power seeking, self aggrandizement (increasing self score at the cost of others)are obstacles for the achievement of a goal or the performance of an activity. Therefore a collaborative spirit where everyone shares their best talents for the others is to be encouraged.
FLOWER EXERCISE
Aim: To realize one's unique and responsible role in building a true humanity.
Things required: A flower vase, with fresh flowers.
Procedure:
The flower vase is placed on a table in the centre, each participant takes turn to go up to the table,to do what he desires with the flowers and the vase. Each participant is given 45 seconds to one minute time.
silence is observed all though the exercise. The participants are asked to do that he desires. e.g. arranging it, rearranging it, spreading it on table, etc. However, let the animator refrain from giving too many suggestions as to what was to be done.
Questions:
What were your feelings when you did the exercise?
What connection does it have on real life?
Why did you act in that particular way?
Analysis:
- Need for an expression of person's uniqueness and
at the same time co-ordination with the group.
-Everyone has some ideas, and something to
contribute.
- Need to be constructive than be destructive.
- Expression of self and creativity.
- Vase welcomes all sorts of flowers God accepts all
his creation. Can a human heart (yours and mine) be
like that of vase?
- Everyone ( it is easier) tries to put order with the
given flower and leaves and rarely does any one
think of going out and getting fresh flowers.
- It is easier to curse the darkness but it requires a
creative mind to light a candle.
Social
AUCTIONING
Aim: To realize the nature of our values. consistency and inconsistency unveiling a value.
The participants are given a set of values from which they choose the values which they want to hold as their own.
The set of values from which to choose:
To be the prime-minister of India.
One year complete peace.
Be a richest man in the world.
Have the best delicacies to eat (whatever I wish to eat.)
To get a rank in exam.
To be a film actor/ actress.
To have a good relation with everyone.
To see the whole world at least once.
Be mister and miss India.
To have an intimate friend.
To have a beautiful house and a foreign car.
A year's freedom to do what I like.
A free ticket to see all the possible movies I like.
Procedure 1st Stage:
- Each participant is asked to imagine that he/she has
Rs. 300/-
- Each value is announced and auctioned. Any one
can bid for it for any value below Rs. 300/-
- Each one is asked to write down the value that
he/she has purchased.
2nd Stage:
- Each one is asked to purchase any three values for the price they think off. But the total cost should not exceed Rs. 300/- neither should it be less than Rs. 300/-
- Then see the discrepancy in the price of a particular value that given in the 1st and find stage in the case of a particular participant.
- There can also be a consistency hence i: Inconsistency and ii: consistency in accepting a value.
Question:
Why did I choose this for the highest value?
Why did I choose this for the lowest value?
if you were given freedom what other things would you have chosen?
Analysis:
- Are you satisfied with what you have chosen.
- we realize that we can't have all the things we want.
- Choosing is necessary (e.g. if I were to be a very
good cricketer and want to be a rank holder in
exams.)
- We need to have certain criterion in choosing.
- Risking is essential.
- We can't keep quiet and bury our talents.
- Short term desires drinks, drugs, etc.
- What do you say about your connsistency/
inconsistency in valuing a particular value in life.
Prisoner’s Dilemma:
Aim: To become aware of competitive nature, in us and how this become self-defecting while collaboration and be more productive.
Requirements: 4 red and 4 black playing cards.
Procedure: Two groups form a pair to play the game. There can be 2,3, or 4 pairs depending on the number of participants. E.g. group A will interact with group ‘B’ in the game. Similarly ‘C’ with ‘D’ and so on.
There is one neutral person for every pair, who handles the transactions during the game. Every group chooses its representatives for the purpose of transaction and negotiation.
Each group is handed 2 cards, one red and the other black. Each group must decide whether to play a red card or a black one. The way money is earned is by combination of cards, and the points they earn depends on what card they receive; can be as follows:
Group A Group B Group A Group B
Red Red - 2 - 2
Black Red 0 +5
Red Black +5 0
Black Black +3 +3
Each group submits to the neutral person one card at each round in secret, the neutral person announces the transaction and the animator accordingly calculates the score and write it down on the score board. After three rounds the leaders are asked to make negotiations with each other. I.e. leader of group A meets leader of group B to negotiate and plan out how well they can increase the score.
After 2 more round once again negotiation is made and the scores are doubled. At the last round, after possible negotiations the score is redoubled. After 10 rounds the scores are calculated.
Questions: 1. What were your feelings while playing ?
2. What were your tactics in the beginning and the later stage ?
3. Was there a change of attitude ? what brought about the game ?
4. What are the maximum amount of points that would have been earned?
BUILDING A SOCIETY
Aim: Being aware of the ideals of a society that we have within us and preparing to work towards it. Awareness of the discrepancy between our ideals and reality.
Procedure:
Participants form groups and they are asked to imagine that they are the first and only society on earth. keeping this in mind they frame laws, rules, etc. regarding religion, educational system, marriage, government, family, culture, entertainment etc. They have to share it in the bigger group.
Questions:
What do you feel about the laws you have framed?
How do you think these laws be implemented in real life?
Why can't we build an ideal society now? What are the barriers?
Analysis:
- All of us hold certain ideals regarding building a new society. But there are various obstacles. These obstacles should not lead us to frustration. But they must enthuse us to determine to build a better society to live in.
- Therefore it is better today dream this way than have no ideas at all. e.g. the wright brothers must have day dreams about flying before they invented the aeroplane.
- Our lives are like the suit-cases. All are of same size. It depends on us how much and what to fill in them. some fill more and others less, some fill it with pervious pearls whereas the other with tomatoes.
- If you want to build a society, build yourself(story about a boy who fixed the pieces of a human figure and thus managed to bring out a world man.)
FIGHT BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE
Aim: To give an experience of crisis, conflict, embarrassing situation and to see how do we react to such situation.
Procedure:
Two participants are secretly called aside and give instructions to pock a quarrel in the beginning of the session on any issue of the recent past. Very soon the fight turns to be serous and the participants will react in many different ways. When the fight reaches a climax, it is stopped by the animator intervening, by giving a definite signal to stop. (the animator then announces that it was an arranged fight and not a spontaneous one, during the analysis) this secret must be revealed only at the end of the reflection session.
Question;
What are your feeling now?
What are the things you observed, content of words, style, how the fight changed, etc?
What are the different types of people?
Why do fights occur?
In such a situation what can a christian do? Who must take the leadership?
Analysis:
- Fights often take place, but develop due to different reasons, like improper language used, past references made, the prejudices about others, pent up anger and hatred, etc.
- People react in different way: supporting and pacifying.
Passive: Commenting from far, worried and upset, frightened.
Indifferent: Not involved.
- Fights occur because of controversy and differences of opinion on a rational level which becomes an emotional issue leading to a fight.
- When we have controversy with others we should refrain from fighting by being aware of our words and by being open to the truth.
Strategy Teddy bear owl
fox
Tortoise Shark
CREATIVITY SESSION
Aim: To bring out the creativity in us in expressing an symbolizing idea.
Procedure:
The participants are asked to work on theme and present it in a form of a creative symbol by making use of things like bangles, stones, leaves, etc. they are given an are of 6 to 10 square feet at the 4 corners of the hall. The themes could be poverty, injustice,helplessness, relationship, today,s educational system, today's political system, religion etc. This session can be conducted on a competitive basis and the criterion for judging the best creative work would be participation, creativity i.e. how symbolic it is and how original it is.
Analysis:
- Importance of bringing out an idea in a form of a picture, cartoon etc.
- Importance of a symbolism, the evocation the symbol gives e.g. anger- cobra, oppression-octopus.
- Increasing of social awareness through this medium and driving the lesson straight away.
- The animator must make his observations and then should ask questions on them. Ask the participants about what and how they have done.
- Being creative -the best ‘medicine’ to grow as healthy human beings.
My Social Values
Read carefully through the following list of values. Choose five that you feel are most important by ticking them. Now rank order these five values by putting them in the order of importance to you by numbering them, 1-5.
1. Freedom from violence and crime ( such as theft, dacoity, rape, murder, etc.)
2. Elimination of caste, communal, religious and sexual discrimination in employment, educational opportunities, housing etc.
3. Adequate concern, respect and care for the old, handicapped and sick persons.
4. A job for every family with a salary sufficient enough to provide for the basic needs of food, clothing and shelter.
5. Equal opportunity for adequate education for all people.
6. A world without civil and international wars.
7. Perfect communal and religious harmony.
8. Freedom from all fear and good physical and emotional health.
9. Elimination of all corruption and exploitation in social and political life.
10. Prevention of all pollution of air and water.
Leadership : Your Idea
We get our ideas from things, from what we see, smell etc. feel, taste and hear - from actual situation and concrete events. That’s how ideas are formed from things, not from abstractions.
What is your idea of leadership ? Your idea, not somebody else’s. Where did you get it from ? Perhaps by doing the following little exercise, your real thinking on leadership will become clear.
Look back on your life and think of the following three experiences. If you do it with two or three of your friends, share your findings.
1. Your father or mother, or whoever exercised leadership in your home. What kind of leadership did he or she exert ? Does that still affect you in any way ? Share your recollections with the members of your group.
2. One incident where you witnessed someone else exercising leadership. Describe the incident. What kind of group was it ? What was the situation ? How did you feel ?
3. One instance where you feel you yourself exercised leadership. What was the group ? What was the situation ? How did you feel ?
Reflect on your answers. Why do you think they were instances of leadership ? Describe in your own words what leadership is meant to you.
The Friendship Quiz
The following statements will help you to clarify your ideas ;on friendship . It is up to you to decide which statements are true and which are false. If you agree with a statement, please circle ‘T’ if you disagree with a statement, circle ‘F’
1. Friendship is necessary for a happy life.
2. A true friendship never causes pain.
3. True friendship requires that the friends be of the same age and background.
4. True friends never disagree.
5. True friendship are rare.
6. A friend should be ready to do whatever I ask him/her.
7. Friendship involves sacrifice.
8. Friendship involves risk taking.
9. The chief demand of a friend is that I agree with him/her.
10. A true friend helps me to see myself more realistically.
11. Friendships can come to an end.
12. If someone says, “he/she is so good looking; I like him/her so much,” this is a sign of true friendship.
13. If you like someone mainly because he/she is useful (e.g. a teacher, a relative, a cook... ) this is not yet a true friendship.
14. Friends may experience quarrels, misunderstandings and anger towards each other.
15. The chief demand of a true fiend is that I be true to the best in myself.
16. A true friend sees my good qualities and helps me to see them.
17. A true friend notices my mistakes, but hides them from me.
18. A sign of friendship is speaking well of the friend in his/her absence.
19. A true friend is willing to forgive.
20. A true friendship means that I should not be very friendly with anyone else.
21. The best test of true friendship is the pleasure I experience in the friend’s presence.
22. A true friendship opens me to many more friendships.
23. A true friendship may lead me to god.
24. A strong and talented person does not need friends.
25. A very good way to make friends is to be friendly.
26. The quality of a friendship depends on the quality of the friends.
27. If I expect my friend to be faultless and perfect, I will always be disappointed.
Leadership & Groups
HUMAN MACHINE
Aim: The uniqueness and important role of each one in society.
Procedure The groups of participants (preferably 8 to 10 people) are asked to creatively present a machine. There can be no use of articles but the participants will position themselves as various parts of machine. Possible machines suggested are : Sugar can crusher, Rice mill, Type rubber.
Questions:
What does the machine stand for?
What happens if there is no cooperation by some?
Which is more important: a part of a machine or as whole?
(Can we call apart a machine? or apart from a part does the machine exist or function?
Analysis:
- Cosmos has a system. Each one is part of system, playing his unique role.
- No one can be forced but if someone does not play his role there is problem.
- Role: a way of life, married, bachelor, spinster, vocation.
a profession, doctor, teacher, priest, social worker.
- Everything is a call. We have a call for a way of life and a profession we are free to respond positively or negatively.
- How do we hear our call. How do we nurture it . It is based on our talents, potentialities, capacities, values or Is it due to force or as a fashion.
- However we need to keep in mind that we have an important role to play, contributing to the growth of society.
- The underlying motivation for every call ought to be a build up solid commitment to build a better humanity.
- We have a ripple vocation : To be human. to be a christian and to become a parent or celibate.
Variation:
Participants are asked to form a symbolic design with all possible things. They have on their person, e.g. kerchief, bangles, etc. Each one has something to contribute through their call to a particular way of like and profession. How much are you ready to give. The rest as part one.
Variation II
A house is being constructed. The participants asked to write to about the house they would like to be why ?
Analysis:
- A part has to play its unique role. Therefore it can't be serving too many purposes at the same time e.g. a window cannot be a door and ventilation etc.
- However, the role given to each part should be
fulfilled to its fullest capacity.
- If one part of a house is damaged, the whole house is damaged. Therefore in a society if we don't contribute according to our role we play the role of a destructive element.
- Our life is like a tennis game. We cannot win
unless we serve.
GROUP PICTURE
AIM: Recognize oneself in relation to other in symbolic and non verbal way. How far we can understand others without a verbal communication.
Procedure:
Participants are asked to go to the clack board as their turn comes, and draw a curve or three straight lines on the blackboard. Each one tries to develop the group picture by drawing curve or 3 straight lines. The whole exercise is done in silence.
Analysis:
- We live in a society and we need each other.
- we are not isolated beings but social beings. We interact with each other, so we need to contribute to the growth and development of society in a very creative , thoughtful, and responsible way.
- Lack or clarity in the picture signifies, a lack of
understanding, proper interaction, etc.
- I am I only when you are you. Therefore I must
help you to become you and not like me.
- There are three levels of communication:
The things which others tell us.
The things which others want to tell but do not do so.
The things which cannot be told without by help.
GROUP AT WORK
1. Leadership and Group dynamics.
The animator while animating a group may come across many types of groups which at times are quite difficult to handle. By identifying the group the animator may be in a better position to deal and help out to reach the goal that ;they may have set at the very beginning or the group meetings. same thing s regarding the ;budding leadership qualities that surface during a group discussion. It is the duty of the animator to recognise and allow those qualities to blossom. In order to facilitate, the animator need to account, the dynamics and dilemmas of leadership. Recent years there is a new thrust that is been brought in, the aspect of the participation of the group. How let us see the dynamics of leadership in a nutshell.
The basic dilemmas we face :
a. How democratic can I be Vs How authoritarian must I Be ?
b. Efficiency Vs Growth of persons in the group.
c. time factor Vs Want participate decision making
d. Quick results Vs Shared responsibility.
We can place all these dilemmas no a leadership coterminous.
1. Leader decides.
2. Leader sells his decision.
3. Announces his decision and invites suggestion.
4. Presents problems and asks for ideas.
5. Presents problems and chalks out boundaries and leaves the decision to the group.
6. Presents a tentative decision and opens to suggestions.
7. Gives the group as much freedom as possible.
Task Oriented (Leader) People Oriented (Group)
The leadership depends very much on certain other factors which are as important as the above ones. They are as follows :
A. focus on the self : The motive that works behind. Needs that are there.
My assumption about the others.
Leader also has to look into : the value system that he holds. Confidence in the group. Leadership styles.
B. Focus on the situation: Type of organisation. Efficiency of the group.
Leader has to look at the : time factor. Consequence of the action.
C. Focus in the group: their needs for dependence and independence. Their readiness to assume responsibility. Their interest in the topic.
The leader has to look at: their understanding of the goal. Their competence. Their expectations.
These are the few things the leader has to keep in mind when he/she conducts a meeting or a discussion.
2. GROUPS, HOW ARE THEY FORMED.
I. Lonely talks.
Ii. One sided conversation.
Iii. Unnatural closeness.
Iv. Lazy group.
V. Fighting group.
Vi. Unsociable group.
Vii. Possessive group.
Viii. Accidental group
ix. Intentionless group.
X. Disinterestless group
XI. Tough and rude group.
XII. Group ideal.
The above mentioned are the usual type of groups that emerge in a group discussion. It is necessary to identify the group, then you can help them to become an ideal group. Here, I suggest a technique that you may use.. Give every participant three match sticks each with an instruction that when they want to speak they have to throw a stick to the centre. Once the match sticks are over neither they are allowed to speak nor allowed to borrow from others. Have the group discussion for five to ten minutes. Then stop, make them aware what had taken place. This will surely enlighten them.
3. GROUND RULES FOR GROUP SESSION.
The following series of ground rules for group sessions are promulgated as an informal kind of constitution which members of the group can amend, add to or delete from. Each participant in a group is given a copy to take home and study. (One might put these things differently).
A. Everyone who is here belongs here just because he is here, and for no other reason.
(his is our top rule).
B. For each person what is true is determined by what is in him. What he directly feels and finds making sense in himself, and the way he lives inside himself.
C. Our first purpose is to make contact with each other, everything else might want or need comes second.
D. We try to be honest as possible and express ourselves as we really are and really feel - just as much as we can.
E. We listen to the person inside living and feeling.
F. We listen to everyone.
G. The group leader is responsible for two things only : he protects the belonging of every member and he protects their being heard, if this is getting lost.
H. Realism : If we know things are certain way, we do not pretend they are not that way.
I. Whatever is confidential : no one will repeat anything said here outside the group, unless it concerns only himself. This applies not only to obviously private things, but to everything. After all, if the individuals concerned wants others to know something he, can always tell them himself.
J. Decisions made by the group need everyone taking part in some way.
K. New members become members because they walk in the remain. Whoever is here belongs.
4. WHAT IS THE GROUP ATMOSPHERE.
Most persons leave a group meeting with certain overall general impressions or feelings about the meeting. One might have the impression that not much work has been done, owing to general inability to get started or disinterest on the part of the group members or one might have the impression that a lot of work was accomplished ;but that in the course of work, tempers flared or members touchy.
These types of impressions relate to group atmosphere, i.e. something about the way a group works which creates an atmosphere reflected in a general impression. Too often we do not talk about the atmosphere during the group meetings, but grumble about it afterwards. It might be helpful to look at some of the various felling s about the way the group is working. The atmosphere might change in a single meeting. Thus several words may be used to describe the meeting.
Rewarding : When group members have worked together well and accomplished the task set for themselves a rewarding atmosphere may be reported.
Sluggish : Often a group ‘‘just can’t get going’.
Competitive : When several members seem out to win their own points with the result that group action can proceed only on a win - loose basis, the session might be described as competitive.
Play : The opposite of being task or work oriented is play., This condition exists when the group avoids its tasks and can’t seem to shake off a light-hearted unserious attitude long enough to get anything done. The ball session might be described as ‘Play’.
Work : When the group devotes itself to its task in a purposeful manner, the group atmosphere is on of ‘task orientation’. This might be true regardless of what other impressions result as well. E.g. . It is possible to fight and still work hard.
Flight : When the group pursues a topic other then the significant topic affecting the group of engages in the horseplay or bull session as a means of avoiding the real task at hand (which may be threatening or unpleasant), The group atmosphere may be one ‘Flight’ means to run away from the people.
Fight: Often group members will find themselves in complete disagreement regarding the topic to be discussed, decisions to be made, or action to be taken, or members will be antagonistic toward each other.
Tense: when pressures are felt which may be due to limited time, conflict between members, personally threatening topics, resistance or blocking of some members, etc., atmosphere may be tense. The inability to move or to accomplish the perceived task may be frustrating.
5. INDIVIDUAL ROLES IN THE GROUP.
What has more generally been found is that the leaders emerge in groups as a function of the ability of an individual to contribute in groups to the needs of the group. When the needs of the group change, leadership also changes, unless the social structure is so rigid that the leadership cannot change. Hence, it is more fruitful to consider leadership in terms of the various behaviours that occur in a group and to examine these in terms of their contribution to the group's and to examine these in terms of their contribution to the achievement of the group's goals. these functions or behaviours can be classified in to the following categories ;
Task functions :
1. Initiation, contributing;
Suggests or proposes new ideas or an alternative way of regarding the group problem or goal. Tries to get the movement started toward the goal.
2. Information or Opinion Seeking: Asks for clarification or suggests or information or facts pertinent to the problem being discussed. Seeks clarification of values, opinions, feelings and attitudes pertinent to the problem or task.
3. Information or Opinion Giving
Offers information, facts or generalisations which are the authoritative views or relates his own experience in relation to the group problem. States his beliefs, feeling or attitudes relative to the group task.
4. Elaborating clarifying: Elaborate suggestions through examples or developed meaning tries to anticipate and examine effectiveness or consequences. Illustrations and clarifications are given to the relation among the various ideas and suggestion; tries to integrate ideas into a consistent, unified approach, or to co-ordinate the positions of various members or sub-groups.
5. Orientation, Summarizing, Evaluation: Defines the position of the group with respect to its goals by summarising what has occurred. Tries to assess progress toward the goal, raises quests regarding the direction the group is moving, question the practicability, logic, facts, or procedure of current or suggested approaches to solution of the problem.
6. Standard setting: Expresses standards the group should attempt to meet or applies standards in ovulation the group's progress.
7. Acting as procedural technician: Expedites accomplishment of the group goal by doing things for the group-performing routine tasks, seeing that things are in order, keeping a record of the proceedings., writings down suggestions, ideas etc.
Maintenance Functions;
I. Supporting, Encouraging:
Encourages others to participate, offer suggestions, submit ideas. Praise when appropriate, shows appreciation for contribution, even if he disagrees with the content. Displays warmth and acceptance toward group members.
ii. Gate keeping, Expediting
Attempts to keep communication channels open by insuring that everyone is heard, is given a chance to participate.
iii. Harmonising, compromising;
Mediates disagreements between or among other members attempts to reconcile differences and relive tension in confection when his idea or position is involved, offers to compromise to maintain harmony.
iv. Observing and providing feedback:
Observe group process and feeds this information into the group for evaluation of its effectiveness as a working team.
Express his perceptions, reactions and feelings.
v. Tension reducing:
Player at the appropriate time, jokes, calls for coffee, breaks, etc., to reduce tension or to allow time for tampers to cool.
Self-Oriented Functions;
I.Following:
Games along with the movement of the group, more or less passively agreeing and accepting ideas and suggestions of others, but contributing little or nothing. Acts more as spectator than a participant.
ii. Aggression:
Attempts to reduce the status of others, belittles, disapproves ridicules, attacks ideas and suggestions, jokes aggressively; cynical and sarcastic. Reverts to personal attack in conflict situation rather than objective exploration of issues and differences.
iii. Blocking:
Tends to be activist and stubbornly resistant, disagreeing and opposing beyond reason; attempts to bring back issue and after group has rejected it . Negative and critical toward goals of group. Dichotomises-everything is right or wrong, black or white, no in between, no alternatives, etc.
iv. Nit-picking:
Tends to magnify and dwell on insignificant details, at the expense of significant aspects of the problem.
v. Domination:
Tries to dominate the group or certain members by manipulation, coercion, flattery, asserting authority, taking leadership etc..
vi. Recognition seeking:
Works in various ways to call attention to himself by boasting, relating personal exploits and achievements, etc. struggles to avoid being placed in an inferior position. Makes certain he is given the credit, recognition, reward for his contribution.
Human Development Functions:
A forth leadership function that is very important but difficult to observe in training is that of Human development - developing and supporting responsibility on the part of other persons. This might involve avoiding, assuming or accepting al leadership droll, making decisions for the group of giving advice- not to shrink responsibility but to allow other members of the group to assume making faculties and learn to be independent. More actively, it might involve asking questions to force others to seek solutions to their own problems, to explore alternatives, to anticipate consequences etch. or it might involve confronting and challenging and individual or group to force them to recognise and assume their responsibilities.
6. The process of the group thinking.
It is a process by which a group arrives at an understanding of decision. It produces what members individually can not produce. It creates a group idea that may be better than the best individual ideas or all the individual ideas pt together. It takes place through discussion.
It is not an argument; An argument finds minds that are already made up, and each side tries to convince the other. It is not a debate. A discussions is the process whereby the group seeks for conviction was to the best solution to some problem and where discussion should serve the interest of the whole group, and therefore a conflict of ideas may be reconciled by the definition of the terms being used.
The goal of the group discussion is not merely intellectual conclusions or a meticulous examination of a body of material, but rather the clear perception of some truth of attitude oar value which has vital bearing on life and action in a particular field. The following are suggestions for a successful group discussion:
1. Maintain an attitude of searching : You are not trying to convince anyone. You are trying to find the best possible and practicable solutions.
ii. Try not to let your previously held ideas interfere with your freedom in thinking. Be on your guard against the influence of your won prejudice and accepted ideas.
iii. Take part in the discussion: Contribute your ideas. o not hesitate to speak your ideas are incomplete. It may be just the ideas that the group needs the move ahead. Often a very ordinary suggestion leads to productive thinking.
iv. Say what you really think: All possible views are welcome. Do not speak just to please someone. Be honest with your deepest personal conviction.
v. Keep watching for evidence that will change your minds: Do not hesitate to admit that you have changed our mind on a point of you really have in the light of new evidence.
vi. Learn and listen: Do not be thinking of what say next when someone else is speaking. You will miss his contribution.
Vi. Talk briefly and to the point: Do not start on a different track, unless you are sure that you will throw some light on the problem.
Viii. Ask for clarification: If a point is not clear, do not guess at it . Say at once that it is not clear.
Ix. Do not let the discussion get away from you: If you do not understand where it is going, say so. Ask for examples. Check your own experience against those of others, remembering that we all come from different background and conditions.
X. When you seem to be on other side of the scan in discussion say so and why: do not let anything of importance pass by unquestioned which tends to make you uncomfortable or even rebellious. Be sympathetic towards the opinion of theirs, but when it is necessary do not be afraid to disagree in a friendly way.
7. HOW TO KILL GROUP DISCUSSION.
You might come across groups that are quite difficult to handle. Yet themes you are forced to take a decision which has a great consequence. The group may not know the seriousness or they may try to take a decision which altogether different. Here I have a few suggestions how you can slow down or even put a stop to the whole discussion.
I. When I a tight place say something which the group cannot understand.
II. Say the problem “cannot be separate
d” form other problems, therefore, no problem can be solved until all other problems have been solved.
III. Carry the problem into other fields, show that it exists everywhere, hence is of no concern.
IV. Point out that those who see the problem do so by virtue of personality traits. E.g. they are happy and transfer their dissatisfaction to the area under discussion.
V. Say that we must not move too rapidly. This avoids the necessity of getting started.
Vi. Look slightly embarrassed when the problem is brought up. Hint that it is bad taste or too elementary for mature consideration or that any discussion of it is likely misinterpreted by others.
VII. Point out that an attempt to reach a conclusion is only a futile “Quest” for certainty. Doubt and indecision “Promote growth”.
VIII. Ask what is meant by question. When that is clarified there will be no time left for answer.
IX. Look for some remote philosophical basis foe settling the problem, then a basis for that, so on...
X. Retreat in to analogies and discuss these until everyone has forgotten the original problem.
XI. Appoint a committee.
XII. Conclude that you have all clarified your thinking on the problem, even though no definite conclusions have been reached.
XIII. . Point out that some of the greatest minds have struggled with this problem. Implying that it does us credit to have even thought of it.
XIV. . Be thankful for the problem, It has stimulated our best thinking and has therefore contributed to our growth. It should get a medal.
XV. Find a scapegoat and ride him. EEG. Men always blame men. Women, can blame men, both cab blame parents: and everyone can blame then existing social situation.
With little effort we should be able to develop our won techniques.
9. FISH BOWL
Aim ; To increase participation in a discussion and to increase each one’s awareness of the parts he and others play.
Procedure ;
Select a topic which is not very difficult. Briefly explain the purpose of the exercise and how it will work.
The participants are seated in an inner circle, while the observers seat in the outer circle. The latter should listen and watch in silence. Their assignment is to count how many participants in the discussion; notice how many people look as if they wish to say something but don’t, keep track of those who speak at all. The outer group observes while the inner group begin it’s discussion. The time keeper calls time on the discussion. The observers report on what they saw and heard, whole the inner group listens. Things hindered the discussion; things that helped; is it worthwhile discussion? Etc. The animator can sup up all the points in a way that will help the participants.
7. Leader ship:
Aim: to create a basic awareness about the leadership in the participants.
Questions for the group discussions:
a) name any 5 great leaders that inspired you in any way.
b) Name 5 good qualities of a leader - why ?
c) Is Jesus a leader ?
d) If you consider Jesus a leader name instances in the Bible which affirms your stand.
e) Which is the quality that has to be present in all the leader to be true leaders - SERVICE (The commandment of Jesus)
i. Individual will write the answers.
ii. Go to the groups, read whatever is written and then form a group answer.
iii. General session.
Summing up: * give any idea of true leadership; distinguish between the false and true leadership.
* The need for it.
* What are the various categories of leaders- Political, social, religious, other fields.
* Stress service as the mist essential and 'the quality' of a leader. (take the e.g. of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples, as the quality of good leader).
* The characteristics of Christian service is that does not exclude any one (Peter and Judas receive equal attention and share in the service) And no reward is expected for any form of service.
8. Leadership: (2)
Aim : To give an experience of crisis situation - an essential experience that a leader has to go through.
Tell the story of Ravi and Arathi
Ravi: Rich, scientist, loves environment- was a 'village boy'. Marries Arathi, rich, city bred girl, social by nature. Go on a honeymoon, to a remote place (forest). Within 2 days Ravi gets an important call to the states, for a seemingly unlimited period of time.
Promises wife, he will be back in five days, leaves some instructions: enough food in the house, novels, T.V., and V.C.R. and all possible facilities, a car and lot of petrol but not to be used. Not to go out anywhere because there can be danger. He does not leave behind any money.
Arathi: Manages and happy for 2 days; longs for someone to talk to, disobeys instructions, takes the car out, drive across the bridge to a house.
Artist: Lonely man in the house, painting whole day. Arathi admires spends a day with him and returns. Follows the same pattern everyday. Friendship thickened.
One day telegram arrives announcing arrival of Ravi, within 2 days. Arathi goes to say last goodbye to the artist; After tearful farewell returns. Guard at the bridge stops saying bridge is defective and no one is allowed to cross. Alternative is to cross the river - boatman offers two choices: pay 20/- or lie with him. Arathi chooses to pay, goes to the artist and asks for Rs.20. Artist's argument: 'money spoils the friendship; one becomes the debtor, the other, creditor; therefore one low, other high'.- total refusal. Returns to the bridge; drives across the bridge, bridge collapses and she dies.
Questions: Who ils responsible for Arathi's death? Ravi, Artist, Guard?, Boatman?, or herself? why ?
* Individual articulate their personal answers and then a group decision is formed; followed by a general session for the whole group- arguments; debate.
VALUE EXERCISE
Aim: To make the participants reflect on values.
In life one cannot eat the cake and still have it. One is called to make continuous decisions. One must have reasons for one’s choices and must not function at the level of likes and dislikes.
Procedure:
The building is on fire; and there are 7 people caught inside; you can save only one. What is the order in which you would like to save ?
i. Block development officer: 40 years old; very nice man, has helped a lot of people, there are floods in the village and the people need him. However, he received bribes.
ii. Retired Military Officer: 55 years old; has served the country faithfully. Recipient of the Param Veer Chakra for his acts of bravery in the war against Pakistan. But is divorcee and he is living alone.
iii. Lady Lecturer: 30 years old; married, has a 3 year old child at home and is pregnant now. However, she is a boring teacher, and takes no interest in extra-curricular activities.
iv. Social worker: 28 years old; very committed and works relentlessly for the poor and the downtrodden. He has a girl-friend and will be getting married within a few weeks. But he holds Communist ideologies.
v. College student: 17 years old; girl, extremely intelligent, good looking; but very proud.
vi. Priest: 70 years old; has done lot of good in his young age. Many poor people feel indebted towards him; a very holy man. But he is suffering from cancer and doctor has given the time of a few months.
vii. Play-back singer: 34 years old; extremely good singer; and a great asset of the country; many people forgotten their sorrows by listening to his songs. However, he cannot sing without drinks; gets drunk often.
Analysis: * one has to act in such a conflict situation. Not to act is to run away from one’s responsibility.
* There are many voices calling for our service. We need to decide who must receive our services. We cannot do all the good.
* In Indian context who should receive our love, concern ?
* Between evil and good, choose good, between greater and lesser evil choose lesser evil; in a conflict situation choose any one but act. E.g. : I. Train passing with soldiers, villagers under the bridge; would be killed if noticed; a child in the hands of mother crying.....ii. Twins born with one head... whom to keep, whom to kill... one may become a good man, other may turn out to be a criminal.....
Value Exercise: (2)
Assume that the following hypothetical situation is real. You and ten other people are in a bomb shelter following an atomic bomb explosion over the city. It would be fatal for anyone to leave before at least one month because of fallout and radiation. But there is only enough food, water and oxygen to last two weeks for all 11 persons, or one month for 6 persons. As the owner of the shelter you have been elected by the group to decide who are the five person (excluding yourself) who have to be sacrificed so that others can survive, among the following.
* Mrs.Patma: 33; psychology professor, who has a good grasp of the situation and has calmed the group’s nervousness. She can be most valuable in organizing and pacifying the group, although she seems to be cold and impersonal.
* Beena: 20; sexy and attractive home economics student, expert on nutrition and diets. She knows how to ration and stretch the food supply and can fix up canned goods appetizingly. She is efficient but domineering and bossy.
* Rincy, 21; brilliant college student who has done much research on nuclear radiation. Her scientific knowledge should be vital but she is sort and spoiled and can not bear the thought of sleeping in the same room with five other people and wearing the same clothes(no baths) for one month.
* Irma, 19; literature major, widelyread and good writer, she has been entertaining the group with stories which helps the group to relieve their fears.
* Nita, 25; very kind person but extremely nervous and temperamental partially due to the fact that she is excepting her first baby in two months.
* Pradeep, 26; Nitha’s husband, a medical student with a lot of practical experience in his father’s clinic, his first services could be critically essential but he will only stay if his wife can remain.
* Bading, 20; only a graduate, but a great mechanic, needed to handle the air filtration and oxygen purification system. The trouble is he always feels hungry and does not seem to understand the need to preserve water and food.
* George, 27; a religious man, whose calmness, optimism and faith is an inspiration to the group. Somehow , his mere presence is a source of comfort, but he needs special diet for his diabetes, and fainted when excited.
* Jess, 20; big bodied athlete, the only one who can lift off the heavy metal plate which seals the shelter door. He is respected by all but he cannot control his temper. Once he and Bading almost came to fist flight over some disagreement.
* Mars, 17; happy-go-lucky guy whose lively guitar music and sense of humour have helped maintain group morale. He gets along with others he is rough especially with girls.
WHICH FIVE WILL YOU CHOOSE TO REMAIN WITH YOU IN THE BOMB SHELTER ? Be honest, concentrate on the talents, weakness and capabilities of each one. Defend your decision with a good reason.
Value Exercise (3)
Imagine your house is on fire and you have only 3 minutes to save most valuable possessions. Don’t consider persons because they look after themselves. Write down any ten items that you would grab. Be as realistic and honest in your selection as you can.
Take a look at the items you have jotted down and now put them in order of priority. Then think of the items you have rated, and find out why you have found them valuable.
Is it for economical reasons, for sentimental, spiritual, social, occupational, jot down the reason for each. See whether your are ready to give up any article back, when you discuss in the group at large for their sake.
Queen of Sheeba:
Aim: To create a healthy group spirit; also a vigorous exercise.
Procedure: A person is made s queen, four judges and a minister are appointed. The animator plays the role of minister. Groups are expected to fetch or submit whatever is asked for within the given time. The groups may possess their book and pens.
Rules to be Followed: * The group can disperse to fetch a thing only after the complete announcement of the requirement.
* The groups elect a leader who alone can submit the required thing to the minister.
* Judges decide who comes first; and check on any fraud.
* No one must leave the church premises and do to roads.
* In cases where special decision is required the queen is the only and final judge.
* No member of the group is allowed to enter the queen’s palace(the circle drawn round the queen). Anybody who does so forfeits points of the group.
* Not allowed to enter the church, school, father’s house etc. Or to damage any plants or trees in the garden.
N.B.: As far as possible ask for such items which involves a creative contribution ( e.g. names of 10 religious leaders, drawing of a person, etc.) and allot definite time. Let all the groups give the items and then choose the best. This will reduce the tension and conflicts.
Possible wishes of the Queen: Egg shell, match stick, white shell, dry cowdung, coin of a particular year, boy’s pants, longest leaf, longest hair, longest or most beautiful chain, most beautiful ring, oldest slipper, live ant on a leaf, handful of water, a fly, fresh cowdung, drawing an elephant in one minute.....etc.
Analysis:
* Need for co-operation, sacrifice.
* Following the rules of the game.
* Listen carefully and fully.
* Be active and not half dead.
* Today who are our kings ? to whom do we serve ?
* Is our king - money, power, good name, fame, pleasure ? or
- values of Christ, the poor, needy, less fortunate, suffering,
Christ in my neighbor ?
* Do we pull out, snatch away from other ( as that may happen during
the game). Do we fill our homes and make others beggars ?
9. Role Play:
Give roles: a) Leader: Co-ordinates, facilitates the group.
b) Clown: talks unnecessarily, out of point, dominant.
c) Critical: opposes everything.
d) Yes men: Accepts everything.
e) The silent:
Ist play: no leader, 2 clowns, 5 members altogether.
IInd play: All leaders.
IIIrd play: A role for each of the five.
These roles will be played by any 5 participants. They are given roles secretly. and asked to discuss on a topic for a specific period of time, with a theme for discussion. e.g. Youth picnic.
The group is then asked to guess who played what role after each of the three plays.
The animator at the end brings out the significance of the success of the IIIrd role play.
Tips & Tactics and Techniques
1. GROUP TECHNIQUE
1. Brainstorming: Group members bring out as many ideas as possible on a subject. No evaluation or rejection or any ideas. Write them down on a black board. Then select the ideas that are needed.
2. Creative Drawing: Participants do drawings to represent their thoughts and feelings. Then spend a few minutes in group sharing.
3. Role play: A group acts out a situation which is affecting the society in their known way. This will bring out lot of participation and interest in the group. It will also help to drive the message home.
Photo Language: Each person either chooses or given a photograph and is asked to answer a few questions. E.g. what does this picture actually say ? are you reminded of similar event in your life? What is the message that you get from this picture ?
5. Films: Choose a short film. After seeing it discuss it in the groups. Then ask the students to either write a dialogue or present a theme of the film in their own way.
6. Charts: Give each group a chart paper, old magazines and other materials. Give them also a theme, then allow them to presents their theme in the form of drawings of paper cuttings.
7. Advertisements: Conduct a quiz Programme on the basis of advertisements. Then explain to them how they have been influenced by the advts.
8. Case Study: A real life situation is presented. The group identifies the problems and finds solutions for these.
9. Drama: Acting our real life situation in a humorous way. There will be lot of participation and it will evoke a creative thinking.
10. Panel Discussion: Discussion by several competent person on a topic that is relevant and controversial. It would be interesting if it is arranged well.
11. Music: The group listens to music and discusses the themes or the mood. For this vocal or instrumental music can be used.
12. Site Visit: Visiting a slum, home for the aged or Remand home. After the visit each one shares his or her experience. Then help them to plan an action that they will execute in the coming weeks.
13. Games: This is very useful for starting a group session. Take a game that is connected with the topic that you like to discuss.
14. Research: Appoint a few students to do research on a certain subject. And in the forth coming meeting they share their experience and discoveries. The following week appoint another group to do the same.
15. Psycho-drama: Each one is asked to act out a feeling that he or she undergoes.
16. Debate: Two themes present opposing views on a subject. This will help to bring both elements of a topic.
17. Slides: Slides show with a prepared commentary is a help to being a group meeting. It will enlighten the participants in a better way.
18. Songs.: Get a popular hit. Play it twice and leave it open to discuss about it.
19. Interview: Interview a person, discuss her or his answer. This will help to get attention in the group.
20. Story Narration: Narrate an incident or story with lot of feelings and great interest, that will evoke a thinking.
21. Shadow Play: Select a topic and arrange a shadow play according to it.
22. Puppets: Arrange a puppet show. this will create lot of fun at the same time the massage will pass through.
23. Banners: Select a few banners that have very catchy words. Afterwards ask them to prepare type of banners.
24. Agree-disagreement Sheet: A set of statements on a subject. Each one indicates whether he or she agrees or disagrees with the statements.
25. Symbols: Things like flower, leaves, lamps, candles pens, etc., can be used to express ideas, feelings, relationships, etc., as in photo language.
26. Stepping into the others’ shoes: A variety of exercises that can be conducted e.g. to describe the life of a servant, a construction worker. Put yourself into the feelings of a boy who is unable to play his fees in time.
27. Circle Response: To a question each one in the group gives an answer.
28. Creative writing: Use of poetry, drama etc. To express one’s inner experience
29. Demonstration: A task or skill is demonstrated by one or several persons; then the group has the chance to try their skill.
30. Depth religious encounter: Each person shares a favourite passage from a sacred book, and this passage means to him.
2, HOW TO EVALUATE A SPEAKER
1. Purpose of talk ; achieved, unachieved
2. Opening remarks ; uninteresting, gripping
3. Thought; confused, boring, uninformative, poor or no illustrator, clear, absorbing, informative good, vivid, illustrations.
4. Concluding remarks ; liesitant, strong.
5. Platform behaviour; awkward, effective.
6. Pronunciation; indistinct, clear.
7. Degree of energy ; week, powerful.
8. Overall rating. poor, excellent.
9. Comments ; ..............
3. HOW TO INTRODUCE A SPEAKER
1. Familiarize yourself with the speaker’s background. Do not read from his bio-data sheet unless absolutely necessary. Pronounce his or her name correctly.
2. Be cheerful, warm, and enthusiastic. This is contagious.
3. Avoid the commonplace; e.g. for having graced this occasion by taking time out of his busy schedule.
4. Be accurate. Don’t have the speaker wondering who is being introduced.
5. Often it is more effective to single out one quality or accomplishment of the speaker rather than give as undifferentiated litany of his past. Sometimes the method of ‘passing over’ is powerful. E.G. I will not spend time on his innovative research on high yielding varieties of wheat nor the effective reforms he has introduces into the district’s marketing structure....
4. HOW TO GIVE A VOTE OF THANKS
The impact of many as excellent speech has been hurt by a windy and wandering vote of thanks. A vote of thanks should be like a punctuation mark at the end of a sentence: a full stop, a question or exclamation mark. The average speech calls only for a full stop; a scintillating one for an exclamation mark, while a controversial or tendentious talk may require a question mark. In every case, however, the vote of thanks should be brief.
1. Be relevant ; Refer to the central thought of position that struck you most.
2. Be positive ; This is no time for nit-picking or display of your analytical skills. emphasize the positive, forget about the negative.
3. Be crisp ; most speakers go beyond their time. The audience is frequently tried. You’re just a punctuation mark. Don’t try to be a sentence- or even worse, a paragraph. Be brief and be gone.
A vote of thanks, then should add something, i.e. make a positive contribution to the occasion. one of the best vote of thanks that the writer has ever witnessed consisted of ten words; ‘Sri Pylee, for the best evening we’ve had in ages, thank you’.
5. HOW TO TALK TO A DISTURBED PERSON.
All of us, at one time or another, have to deal with people who are severely disturbed, angry, exited or hurt. It may be a worker who feels that he has been done a great injustice; a student who feels he has been deliberately neglected, or a friend whose feelings have been wounded. What such persons have in common is unexpressed feelings;
Feelings that are not expressed at the appropriate moment stay with us. They do not act disappear. Feelings are not like wire springs. You can push them down, but sooner or later they will spring up and often at the wrong moment.
A person gets mixed up and disturbed his feelings get mixed up. He does nor act straight or think straight because he does not feel straight. Only after such feelings have been released, can he think clearly and gain insight into his problem.
So your disturbed friend needs understanding more than anything else. To a disturbed person, advice, evaluation or even encouragement are of limited value. What such a person wants, above all, is to be understood. Perhaps we can help him most merely by listening with understanding.
Do not, however, just listen to his words, listen to his feelings. If you don’t hear those, you really haven’t listened. Effective listening means picking up signals at two levels: the level of words but, even more importantly, the level of feelings.
The best way to ‘talk’ to a disturbed person is to listen.
6. IF IT IS TO BE, IT’S UP TO ME.
1. Self awareness. Any experience that increases your self awareness and self acceptance increases your internality. People who feel good about themselves produce good results.
2. Assertiveness; Not letting other people define your role for you, not acting out of fear, not out of other-direction but rather living up to your own expectations and self-chosen goals.
3. Primary group; Having a primary group where your basic need for affection, recognition, support and new experiences are met, increases your sense of control. self-direction, and spirit of adventure.
4. Social analysis; This type of education demystifies, lays bare the structure of power in society and to that extent empower the learner and increases his internality.
5. Collective action; The sense of control over one’s destiny grows whenever people join in successful collective addition, whether it be a co-operative society, a peace march, or a manifestation of worker solidarity. A new way of acting leads to a new way of thinking; in this case, to more internality.
6. Goal setting; We are at our best when we are striving for something we do not have.
7. Achievement thinking; Achievers have a unique way of thinking. They can because they think they can. They develop an emotionally toned network of thoughts around their goal.
One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat sitting in a tree. The conversation went like this:
Alice: Which road do I take ?
Cat: where do you want to go ?
Alice: I don’t know
Cat : Then it doesn’t matter.
* People who set goals do better than those who do not.
* People who set specific goals do better than those who set vague goals.
* Nothing succeeds like success.
* Even perceived success leads to actual success.
* Difficult goals , if accepted, result in better performance.
* Goal setting has a significant effect on productivity.
* Successful goal attainment is found to be related to conscious goal setting, awareness of forces related to the goal, high expectations of success, high psychological safety, a concern for measuring progress and an emphasis on self evaluation.
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